MERRY CHRISTMASSS!!!!

merrry christmassssss =)

thanks to:
ellena for ur...present ahha interesting stuff
sharon for the orlando calendar
jane for the nice green sweater
my aunts for clothes & jewelry and a new purse
mommy for getting me cranium
nat jeh for card
nat chang for card
winnie for card

yayyy baptism today! =) congrats to jacob, gilford, gilbert, ernest, barry, eudora, shiny and keren =) eeeeeeeeeee^^ haha but yessss =) hahahha soo joax after sunday school hahahahaha talking to jon, darren, liann, and joey makes me laugh AHHAH man that girl..joey is the craziest gr 5 i've EVER heard...hahahha aww man she is SO joax! hahahah the four of us were just laughing NONSTOP ahahahaha mannn that was joax =) the lunch made me haf a tummyache..but it's okayy went to jon's w/ issy to play super smash bros....man i SUCK! omgsh..like..i need more practice =( makes me sad hahaha but yea...then issy came over..had girl talk and we jus laughed at white ninja and my yrbook hahah the girl w/ the "pregnant stomach" hahaha issy SOO JOAX! hahaha =) then im gonna go see chronicles of narnia at 6:30 =) eeeeeeeee^^ awesome christmas!


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

praying with sincerity

Pondering...
- about why i make such a big deal about..everything from homework to even weather
- about how much i have to do this weekend and next week
- about christmas presents i have to get
- about my schedule during christmas, whether i have time for everything i want to do
- about Koinonia retreat worship team...that's a biggie
- about what to get baptism people
- about when i should finish what homework and how long it would take me


REALIZE how all these things are...tangible...or something that's so...shallow, things that are all based upon...rushing and getting things done and Stress...*sigh..the word that makes me sad

and so last night,the coolest feeling came over me, overwhelming me so much that i began to cry. not tears of sorrow, but tears of guilt and amazement. Yesterday night, while singing all those songs, sure as old as they were, i couldn't help but realize how i've forgotten all these things. How I've forgotten that Christ was so big, so majestic, yet so humble. I mean, not only did he die for us, he was born in a manger too. Simple entrance into the world, yet so big, so loving.

I've been so busy lately, so caught up in all the work, complaining and whining and stressing out and freaking out, not making or having time for God. I cried last night not because I realized this. I mean i've realized it quite a while ago, sadly not doing anything about it. But I cried because i realized how much i missed the feeling God being by my side and last night, not only did i get to bond with other people, while i was praying, i heard God calling me, telling me

Let it go and let me handle it
Just trust in me...
that's why i came down, to save you
to love you regardless of what happens
just take my hand
and walk with me

I prayed sincerely for the first time in a VERY long time. I mean...christmas is coming. People are like...can't wait till i spend time with family and friends. The only thing that I now long for this Christmas is to spend time with God. I need Him back into my life.

You dance over me
while i'm unaware
You sing all around
but i never hear the sound

Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You

How you love me.

:)

yayy im kinda smrt :) hahaha

Salvation

S.a.l.v.a.t.i.o.n.

thought this was pretty cool..

from the Max Lucado newsletter


Can’t stop drinking? Christ can. And he lives within you.

Can’t stop worrying? Christ can. And he lives within you.

Can’t forgive the jerk, forget the past, or forsake your bad habits? Christ can! And he lives within you.

pretty cool how God can do all these things that you just can't see to do. it just shows how Big He is. How He's so indescribable.

I mean I don't think so of us realize enough how GREAT He is. I mean...think about. You see what's ahead of you, he sees EVERYTHING...and i mean EVERYTHING. There isn't a single corner, a single obstacle he can't see. He knows what you're going to do when you're outta highschool. He knows what courses you're going to choose for next year. He knows what mark you're going to get on this test and on that project. He knows when you need a break. He knows these things. I mean so many times we say God doesn't provide. Heh. Think about it. Everything you say you need something and it seems like God didn't provide for you, did you REALLY need it.

My friends and I were talking about university over lunch and it freaked the heck outta me because i had NO idea what to do for university. I did not have the SLIGHTEST clue. I mean i still gotta choose between arts and sciences. And if i go into sciences, what program, what school? What would i do after i get outta school?
And i was so stressed. Now i think about it, I think, why am i worrying so much? I could replace those top words with my own:


Can’t stop worrying? Christ can. And he lives within you.

Can’t stop wondering where you're going to go? Christ can. And he lives within you.

Can’t seem to understand anything? Christ can! And he lives within you.

GuideMe.

ughhh im so stressedd : (

last few weeks of school is stressful because teachers try to finish everything.

Things to do:
1. english isp essay outline (8)
2. english demand essay (14-17)
3. chem lab (12-13)
4. chem unit test (14)
5. two physics tests someday before break...
6. physics project
7. seven deadly sins painting (13)

God bring me through it

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Phillipians 4:13

rest my soul
in Christ alone
know His power
in quietness and trust

ilovemyfriends.

This week has been pretty cool :) PA Day friday :) I soo needed it. Man been wanting a break for a really really really really long time. Got to talk to different people this week :) so cool stuff.

Friday
I got up at 7:30....SEVEN THIRTY! insanity! on a non-school day too! haha i had to go get my G1 with nat and jane :) we all can drive now haha. man i was soo scared that nat was going to cry when she was telling me she might fail. i was like..uhoh. haha then they went to jane's house and i went to the doctor. and there i met a stupid nurse who stabbed me in BOTH my arms while doing my blood test :( you would think that one hole is painful enough, but nooo she missed the vain and so did the other arm :( *hai. so yea my arm was hurting, then i went home, ate, and went to sleep until 2:30. Met jane and nat at the movies to watch harry potter! :) FINALLY! those kids...always late haha got me a lil angry but that's okay. it was pretty darn good compared to the rest of the movies, but it cut out like half of the book :( haha but it was soo joax! haha me and jane :P hahaha yeaaaaaaaaaaaa haha that's so our thing now :P Then...i quickly ran home and ate dinner and went to fellowship. Man i was in such a hurry , but it was so fun :) haha man my voice is like..gone now jus cuz i had to yell cuz we had no mics :( but yea. it was fun :) haha kitty acting like eric :P and sharon knowing when prizoner of azaban was out. hahaha by ONE DAY. insanity! haha good stuff overall :) and then jon came bac and slapped me in the face :( then wacked me with the keys :( you suck kid XP

Saturday
Woke up at 9:30 :( I wanted to sleep inn...but nooo i had to shower and get to worship practice haha it was soo quick! like 30minutes! crazinesss and then we ate congee after :) it was yummy. :) then silas said i cant sing :( i really couldnt this week :( cuz im so sick :( pooooooo i want to be healthy lol. did some work today, watched some movies :P haha and yes that was my day..my working day

Sunday
woke up at 7:30 today. man i was soo sick this morning, i so didn't feel like getting up :( but yea i did and silas wouldn't let me have a waffle!!!! and sally took the last one!!! i was like..man i want one :( haha so i jus ate some of sally's and stole some from cyrus after. :P after service, went out to eat with the university people haha i felt so young...and they were planning a trip..or andy was planning a trip to go to chicago....i want to go tooooo :P but i've been to chicago. i wanna go to new york city :P haha anywayyss haha yea vicky and her "interesting" jokes :P ...then i got back at church at 1 and my brother got mad at me :( and i kinda got in trouble but not really because after my dad calmed down, he didn't really care :) haha or my mom knew i went out..she jus kinda guessed and told me next time to tell her. haha okay :) haha taht is the end

have fun kiddies

Christ in me

To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
- Colossians 1:27

In Christ, you are loved by God
In Christ, you're completely forgiven
In Christ, you have the life of Jesus
In Christ, you've been blessed with every spiritual blessing
In Christ, you've been chosen by God
In Christ, you've died to sin's power
In Christ, you've been delivered from darkness and transferred into light
In Christ, you've been made complete
In Christ, you're the righteousness of God
In Christ, you've been sealed with the spirit of God
In Christ, you have the hope of glory
In Christ, you're a brand new creation
In Christ, you've been freed forever
In Christ, you're a child of God

Christ in me

sweetttt 16 =)

yayyyyy =) dinner was AWESOME! haha i get there with jon and i see darren, issy & yuki, im like...huhz? cuz i told them to come @ like...6:30 they ended up coming b4 6:20. haha and...the craziest things was....DARREN HAD HAIR! like..geled hair haha insanity! lolz. haha overreacting about his hair was fun =P but im jus amused easily =P haha so we went in and mel came then david then eric. haha then me and mel stole darren's tool =) haha honestly kid u gotta stop worshiping a tool. soo joax! haha eric started making fun of me and i got sad becuase i couldn't get him to shuddup and eat cuz there was no food =( haha and i feel so stopid =( haha i asked where my present was and he said he lost it! and i actually believed him! haha so sad and darren jus kinda laughed @ me....as he usually does. hahaha it was soo scary! hahahha we were all angry and darren was like..geezzz u angry kids haha and then...he started like..stabbing the bread like..WUTTT! haha who's angry now?!?!? aha THEN! i asked that if kids watched stopid shows like spongebob squarepants then they would turn stupid too because they would believe in that stuff...and he said...well that would explain what happened to you O_O...so mean :( haha and i found out that the fobby one from loo wasss darren..oh my....i guess kitty was right..he has to be fixed. lolz. and it was just so fun =) haha looking at mel's drawings and yea =) thanks guys! i had an awesome time and i cant believe you got the eastside mario people to sing for me and darren =/ that was so..weird haha and i almost had to clean the table! omgsh. that was kinda scary. lolz but yea =) then...mike violated the statue of liberty in the restaurant LMAO! hahah soo joaxx then we went to david's house after jon and darren left for pneumie. =) HAHA and mike stole the unlimited garlic bread LMAO! haha n eric found some in his pocket..he's like..wth!??! ahaha hahah soo joaxx talking about random things and mike shot an elastic at me! haha literally headshot lolz! and then talking about how chinese women drive..and like...haha and eric being a pig LMAO! hahahaha it's okayy i konw u cant draw...but i still love uuuu hahaha i will post pictures up soonnn =)
Thanks to:
eric and issy for the earrings and the top
jon for the american eagle sweater
darren for the HMV gift card
jimmy for the rose
melody for the cute card
sharon for the cute note
yuki and kitty for the garage outfit
david and candy for the top
mike for the fart card :P
ellena for the doggie
edwin for the scarf

karen for the ecard
tori for the birthday shoutout
cyrus for the birthday call
ryan for saying happy birthday
winnie for saying happy birthday
hollie for saying happy birthday
gordon for saying happy birthday
phil for saying happy birthday
carole for saying happy birthday
carol for saying happy birthday
bernard for saying happy birthday
andrea for saying happy birthday

natalie, jane, trisia, bev, kenny, alton, jon ng, calvin, edwin for the party =)

thanks guys! i love you allll =) (if i forgot you, let me know =P)

provider

Praise the Lord! He provides!!!! =) aww man when you least expect it, God just pushes away ALL your worries aside by showing you what He can really do. Okay, so worship today was just insane. From what I got from other people, it was pretty good. But I don't know....I'm just glad it all worked out. I was soo freaked out, our first onstage worship and everything was so hectic and all. Like Kitty called me at like 4:41 telling me she doesn't have a ride and so I call justin and he's leaving to go tutoring...so i didn't konw what to do. I wanted to like cry. But I guess my mom reminded me that you just gotta work with what you have and everything and not freak out becuase that doesn't help. So during practice i was just scared, basically, of not having enough practice and what not. Then the photocopier broke, which means no overheads, which means two of the songs had no lyrics. So for amazed, i told them to reflect on the song. When it came to My God, I didn't know what to do? And I cut it. I know people got really upset with me, and I got upset too, but I guess I just didn't know what to do and I couldn't get through another song without lyrics, especially a fast song. So I was just upset i guess...then Ivan told me we could do the song in the end, so I was like...yayyy =) So u know what? EVERYTHING WORKED OUT! God PROVIDES....endlessly.

a new week

this week started off okay i guess..man slept at 1 yesterday and now im like...dying =( but that's okkayy becuase like..aced my english test =) SCORE! that better bring my mark up haha. Then i finished my eng cpt in physics class =) hehe cuz i was being a rebel last night =P hahaha jon would know. but yea..bad thing about today..was...failed chem quiz =( so sadddd man i was so tired this morning i couldn't even tell the limiting reagent!!!!! insanity! but yea =( i better ace that unit test so i can pull my mark back up because right now I think it's like..dropping =( i have to keep that amazing chem mark lolz! but yes. =) hahaha
yesterday's meeting was extremely long but we got things accomplished so yayy =) and im going skating with my cell group FOR SURE! haha i don't care man! i'm going to MAKE the rinks open just for us =P hahahaha soo exciteddddddddddd =DDD haha but yes. and me and issy are obsessing over....LMAO! HAHA issy u know who haha omgshh he's soo hot!!!! hahaha and kitty decided to join our club too =P hahaha yayyy hahaha and yea...well i gotta start on my memoir...i actually like doing this..just because i think of the past a lot =) haha easy stuff for me..takes a long time..but easy =P okay toodles for nowwww oh btw =) finally took a good picture with eric gor gor =P and a pic with mel & mike...here they are =) enjoy


eric & i =)


me and melpoopp =)


me and michael =) lookie those photoshop skillss eric haha see i told you i could cut ivan out =D hahaha..cept u can kinda tell it's there :P

casting crownss

eeeeeeeeeeeeeee^^ yayy got the new casting crowns CD this morninggg yayy :) loving Mitchell's sale :) hehe i love this CD!!!!! omgsh soo gooddddddd but i still thing who am i is the best song from casting crowns :P

Fridayyy

well my week ended up on a nice note :) God really does work I guess. shows you He's there at the end of the day =) I don't know...i guess last night was the first time i actually..listened..slowed down...and it was amazing =) that feeling was jus..wow...I dont' konw..guess i've been stressing out a lot lately..wanting to get 90s in gr 11...*sigh..then yesterday's prayer came on at the end of the day...and yes..for once i listened to it..and it was talking about slowing down, be still and know He is God. pretty cool stuff..and it just spoke to me. And that night. =) I listened...and i could hear Him saying, "Agnes I know you're worried and stressed out but calm down, slow down, and be still and know that I am God. I will provide, all you have to do is trust in Me." and i was like..wowed...and i don't know...it's amazing what God does when you're so upset and feel like crying =)
Today was awesomee =) haha fun times and stuff and ended the day on a nice note with Calvin and Kenny =) well here are pictures from today =) hehe enjoyy ohhh...btw this is what im getting so far ..or for my midterm for each subject
Chem: 91
Art: 92
Physics: 91
English: 79 =( haha stopid english okay..i will get better soon! =)


me and nat jehh :)


shall we dance? =P lolz kenny


haha jon and samson are awesomeee haha fobnesss


uh oh...looked like someone had an accident after school =P hahaha


haha jon and samson r gangstars yo =P


gdon & holliee =)

that is all folks =) enjoyy for more pix click heree http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2118009540

ughhh stopid day ><

ughhh such a HORRIBLE day today! mann im soo like..upset and blehhhh =( let's start with...the beginning..
Chemistry
my teacher was in a bad mood...and then i got my quiz back...and i got 70% on my knowledge =( i'm soo scared it's gonna drag my mark downn..i want a 90 for chemmmm i was getting a 91 toooo!!!! like..borderline man! *sigh..soo hoping it doesn't drop ><"

Art
art was okay...haha nothing really happened so it was okay i guess...my painting is now in the front foyer...it's so uglyyyy -_-" whyyyy would she put it there!??!? like..my painting with what people call "the big boob" hahahaha mann ken & calvin & natalie HAHA you guys are SOO mean! LMAO!

Physics
The quiz i thought i did okay...APPARENTLY NOT! we corrected it after lunch..and man oh man oh man...i got 1/2 for making connections =( if it wasn't for the bonus question, i would have gotten 0!!!! a ZERO...that's disgustingg...im scared now that my mark is gonna drop b/c of it....on the other hand...i raised to a 80 after the unit test =) yayyy haha @ least im getting an 80 for midterm...so whatever. for now...im happy....but for end of semester..i need over 85 to be happy....5% more here i comeeee

English
i was happy until stupid english!!! omgshhhh i was going to CRY! like..i literally had tears in my eyes when i got my stuff back! it's insanity!!!!!!! like...WHAT THE HECKKK so i got my nonfiction unit test and my seminar back...a freaking 75 and 76 =( it's CRAZY! which means there's gonna be a BIG FAT UGLY 70 something on my midterm! *sigh...I don't know what's happening to me. I'm starting to do so bad =( *sigh even james was upset FOR me! it's crazyyyy *sigh....i need to try harder ...
and what pisses me off even moreeee is people who KNOW they got higher than you..and they say they did so bad! like...what the heck...are you TRYING to rub it in....like...u can say you did bad...NOT in front of me! and i was already in a bad mood...and they know it too!!! and they keep bragginggg like...what the heck!!!!!! and then they tell me not to think about it....and then..THEN!! they bring it up!!!! like...ughhhhhhhh like..i was in the processs of not thinking about it..and then you go and bring it up! ughhh pissed me off soo freaking much! haha samson knows who i'm talking about...but yea...this person will remain anonymous. sometimes she jus pisses the HECK outta me!

and then...now talking about the HOPE meeting..our first HOPE meeting...the new council at school..and it turned out pretty well...like...we had people come which i thought was pretty darn cool =) so i was happy about that...and then after we had an exec meeting...and i couldn't help but feel that the intention of this council is no longer...right...moral....that our intention seemed to be going against...matt 25..the social justice council of the school. And i couldn't help but think this: we're all striving towards helping those less fortunate no? so why be against each other? Our school councils..committees...are very....political? we do it as if we have to better than other people...loosing their purpose of what they are REALLY trying to do. and we somehow got sucked into that. And then..Mr Rooney, good ol' Mr. Rooney was talking to us afterwards and he was saying how...we're thinking so politically, trying to be better than Matt 25, that this was no longer about the kids in Egypt, but about us. About us wanting to be better..and it was true..it's sad...and now realizing it...i think it truly is so much better. I was upset before...because we had some beef going on ...*sigh...but yea...i guess things are a little better =) i love having rooney as a student advisor =)

okay that's the horrible side of today...on a happier note...lunch was soo much fun! LMAO! haha the retarded gangsters and then natalie inthe garbage can...aww more nat jehh hahahah stuffed in the garbage by alton, kenny & richard hahaha aww mannn...where's the camera when u need it most...=P but yea....here are some amazing pictures from today =) i loved lunch though...thanks to kenny & calvin for making it awesomely fun =) haha i love those guys =P


oh yea we're cool alright =P hahah gangstarss for lyfe...jane, me, calvin, kenny, & natalie



jane & i =) yayyyy


the sexiest angels in the school =) haha oh yeahhhhh trio angelsss =D jane, nat & meee hehe

haha fall festival today :) soo funn and the kids are SOO cute hahahaha mannn soo joax at our booth. we have the matching game and this kid was trying to play it with the deck that melody made..HAHA he tried looking THROUGH the cards..like..he stared them down and like...put is face practically to the table aww man me and david were laughing SOoOoO hardd hahaha total joax today with kathy LMAO! ahhaha i love that girl! she's so awesome! haha anywayss tonza fun :) haha jon wong & silas are so mean to me =( just because i want to be smart geezzz haha anywayss here's the link to the pictures for today =) my daddy came backkkk

http://www.imagestation.com/album/index.html?id=2118212855


awww hannah is soo cuuteeee


haha mel, jon & I being stupid ahhahaha


awwww emilyyy, me & kathyy =)


david & moi...eww his tongue is purple from the ring popp


eric stop hogging the camera! u're not DAT good looking hahahaa we gotta take another pic sometime


yuki, me & sammm =) hotness hahaah

randomness

tagged by Jon Cheung...

Rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end, list the names of people who are next in line to do this.

1. I think of the weirdest things outta nowhere...like if you can ever turn paper back into tree and what not.
2. I think about..what ifs..a lot...thinking back i guess..causing myself to be depressed..which really does suck. SO yea..self inflicted pain =/
3. I like monkeys :) and I want to fly :) I especially like flying monkeys :)
4. I am a very ..VERY open person haha i tell people the weirdest things..like announcing that I have to go peee haha people like eric & natalie would know :P
5. I can talk better with guys better than girls. like...3/4 of my friends are guys.

haha im jus overall weird...

i tag...cyrus...michael...dexter...karen & darren. go do it now! =)


goodbye friends

He loved me first...

1 John 4: 18-19
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.We love because he first loved us.

I love because He loved me first.
I forgive because He forgave me first.
I show compassion because He was compassionate to me first
I comfort others because He comforted me first
I persevere because He persevered first
I give because He gave to me first...

the greatest gift of all...

His love, His Grace, His Life.

He did it all for me...for you...for us.

I do everything...because He did it first

i was thinking about today...and realized how everything is going so well :) for the past few days being able to spend time with people, talking to people, doing good in school...I mean sure my life's got difficulties...but i reflect on my life and wonder why it is that i freak out sometimes..why i make a big deal out of the bad things when i have soo much around me that makes it so...enjoyable..so beautiful..so worth living for =) Like the people, the love, the compassion, nature, all of that..even the troubles..the ones that make up who i am..and teach me how to be better for God and for those around me. I don't know...reading my friend's blog and there was this quote that just stuck to me. It says...
"When things fall apart I don’t have to fall apart with them."

and I was thinking..wow that's so true...i mean you look at the sentence and it's like...yea htat's common sense..but how many of us actually think like that? like when things are just colliding and fallling apart in our lives..how many of us ACTUALLY think like that? Realizing that we have the choice to fall apart is a big deal...i mean realizing that it's not other things that's bringing us down but ourselves. I don't konw..not making any sense anymore...lolz..but yea... i thot it was really nice =) pretty cool stuff but yes..that is my blob for today =)

good day

turkey weekend :)

omgshh...cool day today :) and yesterday. :) k let's start with yesterday....so I went to go see corpse bride w. Jimmy & Natalie :) cutest movie EVER! sooo sweeetttt :) i was like...awwwwwwwww so many timessss haha but yes...amazing stuff :) then after Nat left, I got to talk to Jimmy for a while :) walked around and what not. It was really cool. I missed talking to that kid lolz. But yes....it was interesting and jus awesome fun :) hehe

Today....today was soo cool! i did worship this morning..so woke up crazy early..well 7:30..still!! haha but yes. It was cool :) it's fun doing worship w/ Silas & Kenneth ahha. Worship went okay...i was so self conscious dough..of my voice..lolz...i was so scared..so scared i would start off wrong :P haha but yes...everything went okay..=) and i saw all the university people! amazing coolness ahha good 2 see darren again haha cuz he came when i left on friday :( but i saw everyone else friday! =) that was fun too! Go second cup =) haha but yes. It was cool =) seeing all these ppl again. and them and their like...mcmaster and waterloo sweaters haha i want oneeeeeee :( haha but yea. =) pretty cool day overall..going to my aunt's house for dinner 2night..but yes..2morrow is ognna b a very long and boring day though :( everything's closed and nobody 2 hang out with..oh well i guess staying home would do me some good =) Welcome back everyone!

and happy turkey holiday =)

boys make me wanna cry.

thanks cyrus =)

weekend

this weekend has been pretty cool =) I'm pretty satisfied. actually..this whole week has been pretty cool. I mean sure..busyness and what not..but hey I mean...tonza things totally make up for it. this week just talking to some people I haven't talked to in a while and more venting..*sigh i gotta stop having so much..anger and upsetness inside. but yea...wednesday was interesting...i somehow felt better after it all..but at the same time..guilty...mean...absolutely disgusted with myself. I don't know...after that day i couldn't stop thinking...
then..friday was pretty cool =) ate dinner with Ivan, Mel & David, talking about our cell group, expectations, visions and so forth : ) it was really cool just spending time with them before the year continues : ) Had a great time during the program =) great job eric & gilford! ^^ hehe absolutely funness...haha anywyass yes..then came..saturday
saturday was the highlight of my weekend =) wow i havent been out ALL day in a LONGG time. lol....so yea woke up in the morning @ 8..got dressed and ready to go to university fair with eric, yuki, bev, & danielle =) haha soo joax...so we subway-ed down to union station. went to uni-fair. haha me and bev totally ditched the three of them :P haha sorry guyss.it was really cool..never knew there were so many universities..so many oppportunities. so yea that was that....the went to eaton center =) haha good stuff bev is getting me blingssss =) we got eric's present...>< so much moneyyy ughhh hahha u better like it kiddo! but yes...then back to finch station...i felt like crap :( and THEN eric & bev made fun of me! XP i dun like u guys *hmph..haha then the highlite of my day..bev in the car LMAO! HAHA aww man total joax! danielle tries 2 sleep and bev goes and sings! and like..dances LMAO! soo joaxxx soo loud and like..soo off-tune..killing all the good songs! hahaha then she's like..waving her waterbottle out..soo scared she would cause an accident if she tossed it out..LMAO! hahahaha total joaxxxx and then...at night...eric & issy's bday dinner =) that was fun..good food...i love mel's drawing skills..and got 2 talk 2 jimmy & dexter after dinner =) i miss you jimmyyyy =( haha fun times in the car..hahaha the highwayy total joax =D

Today..Sunday..i felt like poop again after sunday school..*sigh..thanks eric, issy & yuki for being there =) I love you guysss. hahaha issy u're so funny..throwing my shoe in the center of the room! hahaha geee thx!!!! XP hahaha

that is about...good day =)

ughhh

man.friday night..i was ....*sigh....I just had so much....on my mind...first worship practice then actual fellowship..the program..and my cell group. wow...i so regreted taking on so much for ONE night. like..if it was spread out..i guess i would've been okay..but it was all on one night...kinda stressful. First...worship practice didnt start till like...6:45 *sigh...and i never knew that filled with your glory was new. apparently it is...and the chords were all screwy....and then we didnt have an overhead and we were like...starting crazy late...so i started frekaing out..and everything....and *sigh....it seemed like such a long night. i felt like...i screwed up? i don't konw...i jus felt like poop at the end of the day.

anywaysss yes im not gonna like..talk about friday night...if i talked 2 you..u kno how i feel...but thanks guys for everything =) thanks cyrus for reminding me of stuff :) Just totally reminded me that i needed to pray...that we as a fellowship, as a cabinet need to pray and that all those problems we have wont go away till we go about it the right way. God gave us these problems not expecting us to fix it ourselves, but to ask for help. And i learned something today...that God isn't gonna intercede unless you ask Him to. And when you do...He has his timing. We have to get back straight with God...that excitement, that passion, that fire at the beginning of the year...cannot be gone. We just gotta pray. A friend of mine told me that we're all kinda falling right now...and we're gonna keep falling until we ask for help..When we do, God will work, and we will fly =) yes people...fly. Thanks guys for friday night =) I needed it. just to get things outta my head. and thanks for everyone i talked to : ) I love you cabbyyyy people :D

and special happy birthday shoutout goes to issyypoooopp and bnardino =) happy swt 16 guysss

k....let's recap on the past week...man i dun even remember what happened on monday...okay...highlights of this week:
- felt like poop on monday
- soo joax in physics class w. bev and her alien haha her family :P LMAO haha
- bev and her twin (kenny) hahaha
- swimming with my swimming posseyyyyy on tuesdayyy :)

that should be about it regarding school ...yesterday was 2nd week of fellowship :) tonza fun haha it was "not" theme night haha :) i liked the powerpoint at the beginning : ) totally amazingg to symbolize part of our mission statement this year : ) amazing stuff! then we did "who's line is it anyways" to find out what each person was in the cabby : ) total fun and weirdness ahha so us cell group leaders (me, eric, clarence & janice) had to stand back to back and be wrapped in saran wrap then tissue paper. Therefore, my back was towards clarence and man was it hard. first...he was moving back and forth...so i was like...tilting and almost fell. THEN....then the gross-est thing happened! Clarene farted!!!!! and since he was soo much taller than me his butt is like..at my back..and he fartttt ewwwwwwww and i felt like..this rumble too!!!! aww mann soo gross!!! so yes...haha fellowship was fun dough : ) so awesomely cool haha go myers brigggg :) haha i am an extrovert (duh!) and a feeler. haha eric turned out to be a feeler :P haha soo joax then i got bored and drew a bracelet on his arm : ) haha soo sexi mannn haha and i wrote sexiness on it..but i was gonna write sexy...so now it looked like..."sexmess" haha sharon & eric's weird minds :P HAHA

After-fellowship funness was awesomeee :) haha went with eric, sharon, ken & michael..haha soo joaxx we were like...complimenting eric's lang jai-ness haha and then comparing him to orlando bloom LMAO soo joaxx haha then we were just talkin bout boys and what not : ) it was funn..just chilling :) haha awesome stuffff haha and u knooo u love ur bracelet ericcc :P total hotnesssss

seee i told u soo :P

new

so i haven't really blogged about my first week of school...it's been alright...getting use to the fact that I have to wake up at 7 every morning and sleep at 11:30 every night. I missed my friends over the summer. It's cool seeing them again everyday haha and just really cool this year because less laptop courses, which means that there are more people that I've never had classes w/ before like Alton and Kenny. Soyea it's been cool, physics class has been boring, yet fun thanks go Kenny and Bev. =P ahha My teachers aren't THAT bad I guess...things are starting out okay :) So tuesday was the start of a new school year....

Yesterday was the start of a new Koinonia year. A new year to grow, love, laugh, cry, sing, pray together. A new year with new people, new counsellors, new experiences...totally and incredibly exciting! :) I was so excited for last night. So went to church at 5:30 to practice for worship...that was really cool :) new worship team too! haha it's just really cool, actually realizing that it's a new year, and I could just feel God telling me that there's gonna be change, that this year is going to be like no other. Worship practice is always fun :) so went home and ate and then came back...and that's when the night began :) seeing all these new people got me soo excited! hahaha the whole night was just purely amazing. Got to talk to some of the gr 9s and other new people or people I don't usually talk to :P haha I am totally excited for this year :) we've got so many willing and committed people serving this year and this new year...the opportunity of a new start always sheds light and hope into everything :) Let that light keep shining and let not only the level of energy increase throughout the year in Koinonia, but may we become closer, closer to each other, closer to ourselves, and closer to God.

coincidence...destiny...fate...a plan?
why now? why this year?
why not 2 years ago? or 3? why this year?
why at this place?

some things don't change

you didn't and yet you did
we both did

what ifs come to mind...
what if i never left?
would we still be friends now?

my thoughts always seem to wander back to the past...childhood emotions

is it an illusion?
or are you really who I think you are?

schedule

okay first day of school....was well interesting...hectic..and all..turned out my classes weren't that bad...no classes with natalie or jane though :( total bummer. AND i have chemistry first...joy first thing is thinking in the morning ><><>

Sem 1 (Day 1)
Chemistry - Remedios
Visual Arts - Tong
Physics - Dziedzic
English - Pellecchia

Sem 2 (Day1)
Bio - Nazareth
Comm tech - Morassutti
Functions and relations - Burchat
Religion - Rooney

summer...

Before I slept last night, I was just reminiscing about my summer. My hot, amazing, busy, interesting summer. Just remember the friendships I made and the bonds broken and mended. Tomorrow is school and I cant help but ask myself where did my summer go??!??!?! But as much as there was so much more I wanted to do, I'm satisfied. I mean sure my summer had ups and downs, tears, anger and joy, but heck it was all worth it. I mean sure...tears hurt..pain hurts...but I got through it, learning to be strong and taking one day at a time, that it's okay to ask for help and that it's okay to take things slow when you're not ready. Summer...was for me a time to learn, adjust, realize, let go, laugh, and live. Looking back, I couldn't have gone through this summer w/o my amazing friends who helped me through everything. You guys know who you are. Thanks for teaching me, giving me that support when i need it, laughing with me, crying with me, being there when i call : )

Truly blessed

recap

so i woke up at 8:30 this morning because I had to go pee haha turns out i couldn't get back to sleep because of my stuffy nose So i watched a little TV and then decided to eat breakfast and here i am...so let's recap on what happened since tuesday shall we?

Tuesday
nothing happened...stayed at home all day then we had coffeehouse meeting which i think turned out pretty good good feedback and advice for next year

Wednesday
Once again...stayed at home all day, except it felt kinda nice, just to be able to sit at home and relax...drew a little...played a little piano haha i actually felt kinda happy

Thursday
Me, Jane, Bev, & Nat decided to cancel on going to the mall and so I sat at home writing cards for the grads. Then at night, I went to cabby cell group, which was amazing. Having concert of prayer and being able to ask God to bring me back into His arms, to hold me and never let me go. And it just felt like...He was telling me that everything was going to be okay and for the first time in a very long time, I opened up myself to be vulnerable and yet I felt so safe. And there was a time at which we went to a counsellor and they were to pray for us. So I went to JW. And I was just telling him how lost I felt, how in a way I wasn't willing enough. And I asked for two things, passion and humility. And he prayed for me, and then i started crying! I think I finally realized how lost I was, realizing how far I've strained from God....and how much I really need Him that was really amazing. Then we had to plan September's programs wow....I never knew it was that hard...but yea, it was a good night

Friday
Friday was such an awesome day. As usual, my mother woke me up early because I have to get used to waking up early for school but yes, so I spent all morning finishing up cards for the grads. Man there were so many cards to write! haha seriously when I had like...5 left i didn't feel like writing anymore But I did finish eventually. Then I went over to go pick Darren up to go eat lunch. Dude that was fun haha times of me, mel & darren is always fun so we ate at Galleria at Commerce and that was fun haha sitting there for like...30mins trying to figure out what to eat and looking at all the menu spelling errors like...coin chicken lolz...and looking at the menu and thinking that hot dog and ham was a hot dog with a piece of ham haha what a sad lunch ahha darren thinks sad and then so when we finally ordered it was just fun chilling and all haha. After lunch, we wandered aimlessly for quite a while until we decided to go to the park..lolz so walking like...halfway almost to karen's house. and so we found a shovel and it was just soo much fun :) haha I guess a time to chill w. the two of them not gonna happen that often after a while. Then I went home, finished up cards, showered, ate, then went to fellowship. Grad night was sad :( I cried again this year! AGAIN! I honestly didn't think that I would cry and i did! mann that encouragement line just always ends up making me cry. I'm gonna miss people soo much :( man next week is a new year. A year to start off fresh and meet new niners and a new set of old gr 12s. :P Good luck to all those going into university :) and remember to come visit us!

wonderlanddddd :)

okay..so today i went to wonderland with eric, jane, natalie, candy, david, and arnold :) haha so much funn :) haha so nat came at like...8:15 this morning...helping me pick out my top for the day. Then she started playing with my monkey..and before we know it, jane came haha. and eric ended up picking us up at like...9:10...wow haha he was early..haha wut a liar..then he goes and takes a dump in my house! which smells like...aww man..apparently HORRIBLE haha according 2 my brother...=P haha so off we went to wonderland with our slow song CD =P haha man..loving eric's slow song CD :P haha so yea...with our three dollar coupon, we got an awesome parking spot and went in....mann the line to the security thing..we were talkin bout the WEIRDEST things..haha like..being pregnant and like...pecs...mannn soo weird...hahha and me and eric went to sledgehammer...haha i hit my head soo many times! cuz they were like..expected yet unexpected..haa cuz i was talking 2 eric too much ahhahhaa soo retarded..haha i hit my head soo many times! but yea...then we lined up for italian job and candee & david came and joined us :) haha so joaxx singing songs while waiting for the italian job ahha that ride is..fun...haha such an unexpected beginning haha but so fun :) haha then...nat & jane went to the fly and the rest of us went to the batt...haha then came..splashworks! woot woot! haha soo funn :) haha mannnn $5 for a locker is soo freaking expensive..haha but yes...we got one...fit all our valuable stuff there..and threw our bags on the grass somewhere in a pile..and went to go play :) haha mann..all the rides were soo fun..like..black hole and super soaker and lazy riverrrrr haha eric wouldn't let me and nat go! haha kept grabbing onto us!. and i got under the waterfall! all nat's fault haha but i guess we're even ;) but yea...and then we went out for lunch at like...3 ..mann soo hungry haha salad & baked potato at wendy's..darrnnn eric eats soo much! ahha oh so very much...lol...xactly $8. haha our parking receipt was like..burnt haha and the guy at the entrance gave us a new one..lolz.....mann crazy how hot the sun is. but yea...then we went on wild beast and dragon fire and is that it? wow that's so little rides! but we were soo tired from walking :( haha oh! we visited dexter at DQ :) haha thx for the discount dex haha but yea...he looks so serious when he's working..haha it's so funny :P haha but yes...basically we stayed there till like..6:30....ohhh we saw lianne twice and we saw..alton, edwin, kenny, trish, & heyman...haha wow hafnt seen them all summer..butyea..haha gonan see them all in a week again...haha mann school's starting..that's scary..and sad..
but yes
that was my day :P haha soo much fun! haha nat's fav ride today: the toilet HAHAHA kk..that's all for now...toodles~

slowly healing...
getting back to reality...


the three most important and hardest words to say:
I
am
sorry.

Koinonia cabby camp :)

wow...came back from camp yesterday..I would have blogged yesterday..but im lazy haha so this camp was just..simply amazing..spending time with the new cabby of 2005-2006 :) So I'm gonna list the highlights..or what i remember..of each day...haha to lazy to put everything in sentences

The car ride there:
- eric & I singing songs from backstreet boys to n'sync to all these slow songs he had...haha
- mel discovering the song "I believe I can fly" and singing it over and over again :P
- mel destroying eric's ipod haha reversing cover and taking it off...and she actually put it on herself..good job mel! haha

Monday (got there at camp)
- set up the tent...cleaned it and stuff...accidently made a stain of deet on jon's tent :P whoopsies
- haha me and liann found mich w/ a knife and begged for mercy =P haha so joax in the tent. haha had fun w/ liann and mich :) haha
- michael and eric decided to cook bananas...haha result: tasted the same..cept squish-ier
- silas and I tried scaring PJ...he ended up scaring us haha and silas like..jumped
- talking to mel in my tent :) haha soo joax haha ninja turtle memoriez
- roasted marshmellows :) so yummyyyy haha mike makes awesome marshmellows
- played the murder game :P haha so much fun
- going to the beach and finding a tree that looked like people with mike, clar & eric...woww soo freaking scaryy

Tuesday
- going to the beach early in the morning and just..stood there....felt nice
- doing devos at the beach and silas kinda kept me company
- finding rocks w/ eric and issy...because "they are free" lolz
- haha PJ, clar, & edwin throwing eric into the water because he threw sand down somebody's top...horrible kid! haha
- hehe me and mel burying our feet in the sand haha and mel kept destroying it! haha and my talking toe =P haha
- singing camp songs w/ Michael, Eric, Isabella, Mel haha soo joax
- mike and eric's fist of fury killing ladybugs..soo gross
- silas hitting me w/ a frisbee..TWICE on the head...:( lost tonza brain cells there
- taking awesome pix :)
- clarence, gilbert, & ivan building their fort troy...haha and having a "mud" fight w/ clarence..haha dirtied my pants! XP
- me and mel's handprints on the sand :) leaving our mark haha
- talking with mel at night and staying outside with the stars till 3 (couldn't stay all night..i was soo cold...i was like..getting seizures)

Wednesday
- hearing lai tao all morning....mann and gilford asking questions all morning haha (do you hate me?)
- sharing from Silas & PJ and finding the rocks on the beach :) soo pretty
- clarence finding a rock that looks like a butt XP
- sitting at the beach one last time before leaving
- talking to issy and eric in the car...
- sleeping on the way home and eating a bite of rolo mcflurry =P

haha this camp was just..so amazing...i don't remember the last tiem i relaxed liek this....i'll have pix up soon..or i do..but im waiting for eric's pix...the pix that I took with his camera :P haha

I can't take this anymore

I feel so...lost...so confused...so trapped...I feel like I'm dying inside. If only this big chunk of sadness would come out of my head, then I would be a happpy gurl again. Not gonna happen...sometimes...I wonder if i even knew what i was doing in the first place. Why did I go into it? Did i even know what I was doing? *sigh...I don't know...too many questions that I cant seem to answer and it scares the heck outta me. Yet I can't help but think this is my fault. That maybe...perhaps if i cared a little more, then maybe this wouldn't happen. Maybe then we wouldn't be so distant....there wouldn't be as many barriers between the two of us. i don't know...where does it lead the two of us now? I can't help but feel awkward when I talk to you....can't help but feel sad or depressed...*sigh...i guess it takes time. the question is..how long? How long does it take before I can figure out what I want...what God wants? How long is it going to take for me to heal my wounds? How long is it gonna take for me to feel true joy again? to be able to laugh and not feel bad? just...how long....

COFFEEHOUSE = AMAZING

wow...coffeehouse is over...haha it's OVER! and it was AWESOME! 100% awesomenesss :) seriously...we've worked our butts off for this night and every little bit of it was worth it! I mean...the whole room was just SOO filled with the Holy Spirit and with the amazing presence of God. This day altogether has just been amazing...period end of story. Let's start from the beginning shall we?

Okay so I got to church at 11 this morning to do worship and we waited for like 1 hr for Dexter...then worship surprisingly ended quite early....it was like...1:00 when we ended. So we went out and walked to Tim Hortons and ate and i yelled at Darren a little because he bought an ice-cap. Soo joax at Tim Hortons. haha We made Michael buy a timbit...ONE timbit haha and it was 16 cent. haha soo joax..and Darren came up with the idea of next time, buying one timbit and cutting it into 6 haha soo joax. AND we found out Tim Hortons sells Jam and Peanut Butter Packets...2 for 25 cents LMAO! haha PB & J Sandwich =P haha Darren actually wanted me to go up and order two jam packets and ask for a spoon haha....we gotta try that sometime...but it was just soo funn chilling with the whole worship team =) awesome bonding hahaha and then we went back...and me, mel & darren went to go move tables..until we got tired and just sat there chilling for like..1hr....haha talking and laughing..and me and mel just being stoopid haha and we realized soo many things in the children's sunday school classroom...
a) whales don't fly (yes melody :P)
b) we found jason fok's arts and crafts or smoething on the wall =P
c) and i discovered there was a tree
d) and mel found a flower that loooked like her =P haha
just plain stopid things...and soo joax...it was just so cool chilling with them..and talking about stuff =) haha and darren hates children shows.
Then my mommy told me 2 go home :( ruined my fun haha but yea..went home, freshened up...washing my face and all..and i prayed....and i just realized how far God brought us through coffeehouse. it was AMAZING.

So i went back to church and I found mel and darren..and it was soo joax once again..seriously I lost my voice because I was laughing w/. the both of them all day long :P seriously. And I was creative and saw mel's RUINED (ahem darren) strawberry as a brown ninja turtle (and no im not racist ahha) but yea =) it was interesting haha mel's picture =P hahaha and then darren hid from coffeehouse =P but then i pulled him out so that he can suffer with me hahaha =P and finally..coffeehouse arrived after praying and going out w/ Jon to get food, it finally came..and i was FREAKING OUT...ppl were telling me to calm down but i was just FREAKING OUT...i wasl ike....ahhh and going crazy...but u know what? God worked...seriously! Jessie's message was just purely amazing =) Andrew's testimony was amazing =) God provides, and God works...
anyways..it's 12 like..30 im tired...i wanna sleep..i'll update more 2morrow =) toodles

wow...

wow....coffeehouse is in two days. this is..overwhelming, yet exciting, yet...scary? haha I don't know...just a whole bunch of emotions. But I guess...this anticipation as to how coffeehouse is going to turn out is kinda scary. For the past few days, I've been in the freaking out mode. Seriously I think I joined the "seriously freaking out about coffeehouse club" along..w/ like..mel & stuff...and it was just all so overwhelming and i was just soo worried. And then today....or just now...i read my friend's blog...and he was saying how even though coffeehouse has a lot of technical stuff to figure out...God's using us to bring His people back to Him. And I was just...like..wow...because I dont' know...I lost sight of that...a week ago I was the one telling people that it's gonna work out alright..and I lost sight of that reassurance that God is using us for His glory...and He will work according to His perfect plan.

=(

see my last post was oh so happy...and now the happy face turned upside down :( why? because I'm thinking again...about way too many things...jus....pondering...reminiscing...not knowing what to do...confused...feeling lonely...wanting...a hug? haha the one day i get to take a break from drama...i go and think and make myself upset...aww man...k well I guess i gotta pour it out before it jus kinda starts killing me.
What is worth it? What makes something for you worth it that you keep striving for it? Is something worth it if it's breaking you up and making you die inside? Could we possibly just create an illusion for ourselves to believe that some things are worth it because perhaps we're scared to let go or we just don't want to...because it makes up who we are or we've fought for it so much that we can't just give it up like that? So what do you do? What do you do when's something's affecting everything you do...yet you can't just let go? Do you jus sit there and be confused and i duno...

I'm currently...feeling...lonely? I don't know why...but I just kinda do...I don't know if it was because of yesterday....or I'm just regreting..not of things I've done..but what i didn't do? I've been smiling all week...and yet there's just been so many things clogged up inside of me whether it be coffeehouse or relationships ...I'm tired...i need rest..and i can't because these things....i'm not letting out...causing me to be ready to explode...*sigh....Why smile when you're not happy? I say I want to be transparent..but really how many people know me for me...and i hate it...because I'm so scared...maybe of what others think of me...or what not...I'm tired of bottling everything up...*sigh....I'm tired of inversing my priorities and getting screwed over.

Father God I cry out to you because it's time like these when I realize that I can't do it anymore...that I've relied on myself too much, making myself sick and weary. And Father I pray that You forgive me for not looking up to You for help, not relying on You. Father I surrender it all to you God, placing all my burdens and worries into your hands in prayer.

I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life.

starting fresh...

=)

Today is saturday...this week has just been pretty darn amazing...or at least the end of it, starting with thursday. I had..worship practice and I don't know what was wrong but we were just like...i don't know..screwing up? ahha but yea...I was like..thinking...why is this happening God..like..what's wrong..and I felt so discouraged..liek..*hai...w/e kinda thing..but then cell group just helped me through that so much! Garway & Silas was leading and it was just soo amazing. Garway was reading this story to us about how Satan's plan is to keep us busy so that we won't have time for God and what not..and i've read that story before...but i guess it really hit me because the first thing i thought of was myself...because I've either been complaining or just..freaking out about coffeehouse and VBC and stuff like that and I was just so overloaded with so many things and it really made me think...Did I give God my time this week? like..did i REALLY? wholeheartedly? *sigh...I've been so busy..and overstressed...and I just need to rest...rest in the arms of God and find peace and comfort in Him. I'm not saying that all my busyness is all Satan's fault because all these things are used to glorify God's name...but I mean..perhaps it's the fact that I overload myself...not what I am doing...but how much I'm doing...so yea...it really made me reflect and realize that I am drifting...that I've always been drifting since like..May...so yea...*sigh and to top off my day, Beverly called and told me she wanted to come to church, which totally made me SOO happy =) hearing one of my friends wanting to go to church puts a smile on my face =) but yea...so that was my thursday :) my amazinggg thursday.
Then Friday...drama practice :) soo joax haha w/ Michelle, Janice, & Eric. Drama practices are always fun..exhausting..but fun :) haha can't wait till coffeehouse! haha and had sports night for fellowship that night. Bev came and we talked and stuff...haven't talked to Bev in a while...so it was really nice :) And last but not least to top off the day, talked with Cheryl becuase I couldn't sleep last night and I guess I just needed someone to talk to :) that gurl is awesome! haha she like made me cry haha =P but yea...made me feel a lot better =) and so yea...the today..worship practice =) fun stuff...finished TWO SONGS! yea! go us! haha thx to darren's thinking all day yesterday =) haha but yea it was really cool =) i felt happy haha and yea...I was talking to Melody today and jsut realized we're both SOO stressed...*sigh..looks like im not the only one..and yea...=) that is my three days =) my three amazing God-given and blessed days...I am in SUCH a good mood =)

When I say..."I am a Christian"

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."

I'm whispering "I was lost,"

Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble

and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak

and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed

and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible

but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain,

I have my share of heartaches

So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner

who received God's good grace, somehow.

- Maya Angelou

He Chose the Nails

So I was reading He Chose the Nails, and it's really amazing what it reminds me of how GREAT God is. Max Lucado was saying that all that was needed in order for us to be saved was his blood, but he did SOO much more. He gave us that crown of thorns, and the sponge soaked with blood, the mockery of the soldiers, and the nails and cross. This is all his big gift. It's like..a gift under a Christmas tree. I think we all remember when we were little and it was Christmas and we would frantically opening presents and have the biggest smiles across our faces. Imagine those magnificant gifts but instead of a tree, it's under a cross, and when you open them, instead of toys and brand new clothes, it's a crown of thorns and a sponge soaked with cheap wine. Max Lucado gives us the question of this:
Did we open all His presents? Did we really look at all the gifts He's given us? Really thought about the true significance and how much He gave us?

I mean He didn't have to do all that stuff, but he did, making us love Him soo much more.

God deserves all our praise, all of it

awesomenesssss

wowww so much fun today! i was out ALL day from 9am - 10pm haha but it was soo funn...okay let's start with yesterday..

Saturday:
I sat in my room for 2 hours doing nothing..which actually feels really good..and relaxing...just takes my mind off stuff...then i started cleaning my room and when i clean my room, i look through stuff..hence reminencing...so yea...haha then went to BBQ at my aunt's house. Me and my cousin got bored and so we went to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith at STC :) haha sucha good movie!!!! go see it!

Sunday:
Man today..was sooo awesome...so went to church and Sunday school which was pretty cool haha ryan being stopid =P then..VBC meeting..which was pretty cool...oh reminds me....i gotta send the meeting minutes XP whoopiesss...anywaysssss went home to change....when we went to the gamee man i was soo hyped and ready for it! hahahaha cheering and alll that...in sucha good mood today =))) We lost our first game..but won our second game! yayyy go beloved! Devos was really good =) mann so joax laughing at jasmineee =P HAHA she was like..killing Grace from Zoocru haha soo vicious! hahahaha but yea good job Edwin :) woot woot! hahaha and then..man after game...me, eric, edwin, patrick, issy, & jon went out 2 eat soooo coollllll :) we bumped into guys from samaritan so we're like..whoaa look! haha and we all ate together...so all 11 of us haha so i met..Ben, Kenny, Alex, Byron, & Adrian haha soooo joax mann..soo funny haha cool guys =)) anyways yes yes =) awesome dayyy..but...

Darren dislocated his thumb, Nick got a big bruise on like...his stomach...hope you guys feel better soon! =)

Canada Dayyyy

today was SOO MUCH FUN! hahahaha i actually didn't expect to have that much fun hahaha. I went to JC Camp today with my parents for the day and I thought..wow..this is going to be boring...haha then i hung out with the venturers people...mann soo cool! hahaha I met Carmen, Portia, and Angus. haha When i heard his name, the first thing i thought of was...clarence HAHA =P anywayss had tonza fun today. HAHA Melody and her moon face =P hahhahaha it's all darren's fault! now everytime I loook at her...i notice it and i laugh *hai...so today.... we....First at the pool and getting darren all wet and soaked like crazyyy =P then we did...archeryyy =) cool stuff i could actually hit the board HAHA that's good enough for me. Then..mountain biking..that was sooo exhausting..all those hills...goodness haha mel had SOO much trouble cuz her bike was too small for her...lolz...and I got soo tired...I am soo out of shape..man gotta start exercising more often. Then..we..did high ropes! and I am soo prouda myself..I actually went on...and got HALFWAY ahhahahah go me! =P then...darren and his skill of climbing the vertical thingy...haha then portia beat him =P haha too bad man =P AND i went to the climbing wall =P didn't go all the way cuz my fingers started cramming >< which really sucked haha but it was fun nevertheless =) We ate dinner..then built the campfire =) i learned stuff today hahaha cool stuff =) but yea =) I ended up having fun and so yea haha darren's sucha bum! HE SLAPPED ME!!!!!!! XPPP poopoo faceee

haha anywayyyss

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYONE!

graduation

Grad was soo funny last nite =P haha mann i was so bored then all of a sudden ...i find..A PEN! in nat's bag..haha so i needed paper....and i found..TISSUE HAHA :P and the whole ebay tissue thingy started hahah soo joaxxx. We were like..let's sell it on Ebay and we wrote ALL over it! haha now natalie's gonna hang it on her wall =P i shall buy her a picture frame for that tissue =P HAHA soo joaxx then...rickson was soo funny hahaha man i love that kid haha and GO STICKING ISSUES! haha anywaysss yes yes fun stuff
then this morning...coffeehouse meeting was joax =P hahaha melody and darren and EMILY dude..crazinessss haha soo joax yup yup..then after..it's..SOFTBALL PRACTICE!!! haha not in the greatest of moods but meh..gonna make the best of it!

shoppinggggg

YES! i bought two tops today :) haha my hand smells like gap perfume and yes haha i got...a tank at garage and a jersey thingy at blue note haha i like it =P it's so...ilke..sucha guy..but i like it so w/e haha what else...oh yes :) it was just cool seeing tori and stuff haha david came along haha and yes....i feel kinda bad :( made eric drive me :( and he was like...rushing home or something..awww sorry :*( but yes...today worked out pretty well..it's raining like crazy right now...thunderstorm -_-" makes me scared and gloomy haha but yes okay..enuf of this...i should really like...clean my room haha =P my desk is soo messy cuz i gave up hahaha and tomorrow is GRADUATION! ewww i just heard from sylvia today at the mall that we hafta wear our uniform for grad...for the mass..like...ewwyyyyy xP and then...something nice for night..so yes =P kk well..that's it for now =) loving summer babyyyyy

here's the pic from todayyy :) the loserss :P the COOL losers hahahha

Batman

Batman Begins was a total disappointment...don't go see it...honestly...not even worth my $4.25 i paid =P haha anywayss yes yes it was fun though yesterday =) with candeee and davidd and owen and ericc and edwinnnnnnnn :) haha but yes..and then...softball...wow..i was in the mood at the beginning..and then..after moving so much..it was like...arghh* so blehhhh...but yea...haha i'm going SHOPPING TODAY!!! with TORI and CANDY and DAVID? hahaha :P it's okay...david's gurlie enuf haahhahhaha =P haha kk toodles for now :)

ouchersss

acK* i can't really type right now...*sigh..haha softball practice yesterday :) haha i got hurt :( haha stoopidest way too..the ball was bouncing towards me..i went to go catch it..and it bounces off my glove and hits my chin :( sucksss now i have this lil..thing on my chin >< *sigh..then i didn't catch properly...or i don't know what happened...my pinky started hurting..and so i stopped playing..then it starts swelling and hurting when i bend it >< and now...i woke up this morning..and it's blueeee like my WHOLE pinky is blueeee it's soo weird and grossss...but yes..haha accidents that come with sports haha but yes...i hope it gets better before the game on Sunday..or i don't think i can play..it's getting a bit better..*sigh...ah well..back to studyingg...science exam 2morrow..then i'm DONE =DD haha hahaha...
btw...i need summer coloured clothes! honestlyyyy lacking summer colorsss

:P

i want the backstreet boys CD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

busynessss

yayy done eng exam..haha failed it..but @ least i'm done..anywayss argh* so confused..plans are all over the placee...i can't watch batman on friday because I need to babysit =( and i need to babysit practically like..everyday in the summer...hating thisss but yes...i'll see...anywayyssss this is my schedule for nowww..soo freaking bz =P

Friday - Baby sitting after exam then fellowship
Saturday - car wash and softball
Sunday - two softball games
Monday - going to see Batman
Tuesday - Might go to wonderland? have to talk to Candy
Wednesday - grad night
Thursday - eat lunch with Auntie and i'll figure something out to do
Friday - camp
Saturday - nothing
Sunday - VBC meeting

that's my whole week's schedule..i don't konw...I dont' want to go out everydayyyy....i'm never home! as u can seee...so yes....so much to doo i'm gonna 4get something =P

update

wow i hafn't updated since..like..forever haha anywaysss yes yes studying for exams and taking a break....15 minute break..i promised myself..anywaysss happy :) haha two exams :) hahaha tomorrow and friday :) eng and science haha not worried..this is the FIRST time i'm not stressed about exams..haha go me! anyways yes :) life is good...fun stuff today..last day of school..and wow...i'm going to be in gr 11 in two months..soo olddd HAHA i know i shouldn't be complaining! but honestly! haha :P make people like cyrus and jon fell olddd :P haha anywayss yes yes :) softball practice 2morrow :) loooking forward to THAT :) haha always looking forward to softball haha i suck @ it dough :( sadly haha anywayss yes yes..okay back to studying!
toodless~!

softball yesterdayyy =) totally funnn =D hahaha i suck..but it's soo funnnn hahaha i got hit by the ball THREE TIMES! all from my knee down >< hahaha ahh well..haha all worth it =) haha mann i was so happpy...I CAN CATCH hahahahahahha but yes =) tonza fun..crazy hot..but tonza fun...

anywayss =) science test is over..so..drama exam and comm tech cpt left..*sigh...better do good in drama..stressing..for the first time EVER in drama...DRAMA..honestly! *sigh..this is sad hahaha

A thin blanket

I was just finishing up "When God writes your love story" so that i can give it back to Jess and I have no homework this weekend =P and chapter sixteen that tells a story that really made me think about these past few weeks.

A Thin Blanket
The night air was cold, frigid cold! In the icy prison cell sat two young Chinese men, emaciated from loss of food and light. They both had only a thin blanket to keep them warm. The hard floor beneath them was cruel and merciless, and the shackles upon their ankels seemd to mock their pain. Yet in this arctic sanctuary of doom was heavenly warmth.One of the two men had a thought.
If that were Jesus next to me, would I give Him my blanket?
This Chinese man, who had but a thin blanket to keep himself warm, recognized the privilege it would be to give what little he had to the God who has given him everything. He removed the blanket from around his shoulders and placed it around the shoulders of his shivering friend.
I want you to picture yourself in the same, icy cold prison cell. And all you have is a thin blanket to warm yourself. How tightly would you cling to the little comfort you have? What would it take for you to part with your precious blanket?
You see, that thin blanket represents our life. If we give up our blanket, we're going to die. If we let go of our lone security, we must surrender to death. But what if the one next to you in that cell was Jesus? What if you had the privilege of giving what little you had to the one who gave up His life for you? What if you really did have the opportunity to show your love and gratitude to the King of all Kings and the Creator of the Universe? Would you give up your blanket?

I was just thinking about that...our society tells us to hold on to our lives...planning our future and securing it. What we don't realize is that the security of our future is not in the blanket we have, but in Jesus. If we give it to Jesus, He will show you the beautiful side of love. He'll use you beyond anything you can imagine. Would you entrust him with the pen to write your story? It's not easy. Christianity is not an easy way out. If anything...Christianity is hard...it's considered anything BUT cool on earth. Throughout history, true Christianity has been ridiculed and persecuted. But He's forgiven us over and over again, time after time, loving us when we doubt Him. How much are you willing to give up for Him?

If you stand up for God, He stands up for you

thoughts...

people say they care...but do they really? I mean you talk to them...they tell you they love you...then when you really need them...they're not there...they turn their back on you like they no longer care. I mean...I don't expect them to be there for me 24/7...that's asking quite a lot...but I mean..just once...i want you to show that you care...do you really care...or are you just using me...or hanging around me just because you think you gotta put up with me

*sigh...I've just been thinking...how so many times in my life I've changed, moving from one group to the next. And there are some friends..that are worth keeping forever...some people that you know will care and stick by your side no matter what. And I dunno...i guess sometimes people that i do care about...just seem to drift away...not sure why...but i miss them...not that i dun see them...just like..we don't talk as much...or whatever...not as close and stuff..

i know that God placed those people in my life for a reason...regardless of how annoying...or stoopid they are...and i guess i've been able to see that...people do matter...every single one of them..when you make fun of them....or wish something bad towards them..it's like..saying they don't deserve to live...dude..who are we to say that they are unworthy? honestly...I hear people at school saying that they hope somebody dies...or somebody breaks their leg or something..out of pure anger...and wut are you saying? that they shouldn't be living? that they're a waste of flesh and blood? it doesn't make sense....people are like..oh don't waste your breath or time talking to that person or what not...everybody is worth my time...it's a fact..it's not because i see things differently..it's a fact...and so you know what...i'm going to stick to that...I mean Jesus died for us when we were his enemies...when those he died for mocked him ...and we can't even give some sort of time to those who we think are just a little annoying? There's good in everyone...I know that...call me naive or whatever you want...but that's how i see it...and it helps..it really does...

....don't judge me if you don't know me

Your dating personality profile: Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.

Your date match profile: Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Traditional - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Religious 2. Liberal 3. Big-Hearted 4. Shy 5. Traditional 6. Athletic 7. Wealthy/Ambitious 8. Stylish 9. Practical 10. Adventurous

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Religious 2. Traditional 3. Practical 4. Athletic 5. Conservative 6. Big-Hearted 7. Funny 8. Shy 9. Adventurous 10. Intellectual

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

books that need to be read

_ Where the heart is - Billie Letts
_ When God writes your love story - Eric & Leslie Ludy
_ He chose the nails - Max Lucado
_ Mere Christianity - C. S. Lewis
_The five people you meet in heaven - Mitch Albom
_ The curious incident of the dog in the night-time - Mark Haddon
_It's not about me - Max Lucado
_ In the eye of a storm - Max Lucado

that's all for now....

prayer

i duno...a lot's been happening lately...my family's kinda going crazy...*sigh...from sunday to tuesday...my parents didn't talk...becuase of one argument..that had my dad screaming and my mom crying..*sigh it's scary..it's sad..it makes me mad...i duno...i guess i just want it all to stop..who doesn't...and God really uses you when you ask Him to...after crazy prayer for hte past two days, finally got the courage to talk my heart out to my parents 2night...and i duno things seem better =) which i am veryyy grateful about...*sigh...it's hard...when i see these imperfections in my family...it breaks my heart..it hurts my feelings more when they're yelling @ each other than me. Loving somebody means sacrificing time and energy to work with them..to make them better =) and i duno..after last week's sermon...and then the fight...makes me realize how important and how much honor my parents deserve. They're not perfect..but i shouldn't expect them to be. Prayer is power =)