praying with sincerity

Pondering...
- about why i make such a big deal about..everything from homework to even weather
- about how much i have to do this weekend and next week
- about christmas presents i have to get
- about my schedule during christmas, whether i have time for everything i want to do
- about Koinonia retreat worship team...that's a biggie
- about what to get baptism people
- about when i should finish what homework and how long it would take me


REALIZE how all these things are...tangible...or something that's so...shallow, things that are all based upon...rushing and getting things done and Stress...*sigh..the word that makes me sad

and so last night,the coolest feeling came over me, overwhelming me so much that i began to cry. not tears of sorrow, but tears of guilt and amazement. Yesterday night, while singing all those songs, sure as old as they were, i couldn't help but realize how i've forgotten all these things. How I've forgotten that Christ was so big, so majestic, yet so humble. I mean, not only did he die for us, he was born in a manger too. Simple entrance into the world, yet so big, so loving.

I've been so busy lately, so caught up in all the work, complaining and whining and stressing out and freaking out, not making or having time for God. I cried last night not because I realized this. I mean i've realized it quite a while ago, sadly not doing anything about it. But I cried because i realized how much i missed the feeling God being by my side and last night, not only did i get to bond with other people, while i was praying, i heard God calling me, telling me

Let it go and let me handle it
Just trust in me...
that's why i came down, to save you
to love you regardless of what happens
just take my hand
and walk with me

I prayed sincerely for the first time in a VERY long time. I mean...christmas is coming. People are like...can't wait till i spend time with family and friends. The only thing that I now long for this Christmas is to spend time with God. I need Him back into my life.

You dance over me
while i'm unaware
You sing all around
but i never hear the sound

Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You

How you love me.