k so it sucks.
it sucks getting the physics test back that you thought you did well on and actually did pretty bad on. The teacher doesnt think it's bad. but you do. and on top of that, this test dropped you three percent. yes it sucks.
so i ended up getting it today after i got back to the science center and honestly when i found out it dropped me three percent. i was ready to cry. but u kno let's not cry in front of the teacher now. that's bad. i mean he knows im upset already. no need to make it worse. so on my way to my locker. i see gordon. and i showed it to him. i couldnt help it anymore. i started to cry. not like...wailing kinda cry. more like..silent tears kinda crying. and unlike everyone else, he seemed to be very understand. Gordon is always very understanding. I mean yea three percent..i kno im not allowed to complain cuz im still getting high 80s but at the same time...it's like..it's disappointing. and i just cant drop. i just..can't. and i tried to stop myself from crying..too bad the harder i tried..the more tears came out. so i said...
k agnes u gotta stop. it's not worth cryin over
then it hit me...
this crying shows a lot. it made me realize that
a) my marks are WAYY to important to me. i dont know HOW many people tell me this and i dont listen to them.
b) I placed school before God.
that's a bad thing. that last one there..BAD very BAD. *sigh. and i could tell. at the beginning of the year, school wasn't all that bad...i enjoyed it...got high marks...and credited them all to God..but slowly as the semester progressed..as things start to pile up...you think that maybe you can handle it yourself. oh....SOO WRONG. very very wrong. and also, after i got my marks, im dumb and i boast about them. heh. God sure taught me a lesson. not to like smite me or what not. but i mean. humility. that's it right there. no matter how good, bad, okay i do at the end of this year...humility. it all comes down to...how i reacted to all of them. it's funny when i get good marks..i say God u kno thanks for all this. then when i get bad marks...i cry.
*sigh time to go do things the RIGHT way.
balance.
God first
humility.
4 comments:
it's ok to cry though, even if it's about school. :) if that's your way of expressing yourself, there's nothing wrong with it. Wait til Uni, you'll be bawling your eyes out everyday!
i can SO relate to your post.
i had the same realization today, that i was putting school first rather than God...aka making school an idol.
...and how humbling it was :)
school is important, but it's funny when you think of how many things are actually more important than school too! God puts everything into perspective.
ps- i think it's ok to cry! *hugs*
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