wow...

This weekend had a lot of hitting going on. Lots of yelling from God. not like..angry yelling. more like.."wake up" yelling.
So Friday was Missions Night and God really really spoke to me. What Pastor Lou said that night I will never forget. When talking about missions, he said

The question is not whether or not you're ready. I'm sure all missionaries weren't ready. The question is ARE YOU WILLING? If you are willing, God will automatically be ready and He will make you ready.

that night was kind of like...a nudge at the heart. Throughout this week, this question echoes in my head. are you willing?

so i stand....emptyhanded...filled with fear...but more filled with love and faith...and say.

Here I am Lord.

Use me.



I never really truly understood God's love until today. I mean...I guess I'll never fully understand why He would die for someone like me but I got a totally different meaning out of it today at Sunday school.

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." - 1 John 4:10

I learned today that we are incapable of loving God. It's called total depravity. Love is when we have nothing to offer God and YET he still loves us. We are incapable because we are useless to God. kinda hit me like a ton of bricks.

God who is SO BIG loves us, even though He doesn't get anything out of it.

That is love. It REALLY doesn't get better than this.