yesterday was the greatest day : ) hehe

so im eating dinner...and melody decides to call me and ask what i'm doing...and i had to go to dinner..so i couldn't talk to her..like...15minutes later...she calls again...and she says

m: "look outside your door!!"
a: "omgsh are you here?!?!?"
m: "no i'm in waterloo -_-"
a: shuddup!

so i open the door and there's mel. omgshh haha such a surprise. but i did have a bit of suspicion. lolz. :P and then we called andy & darren and tricked them and they thot i was in loo :) hehe it was fun. haha and mel i'll buy u a cookie this week...not homemade..but i'll get you one :) hehe it's awesome seeing u. stupid girl not being able to come back for my bday :(

then we went to tiff's house to cook haha and my group is so cool : ) haha silas can't wash his fryer properly...haha and it was very old hahaa but it was so cool! i've never seen the whole fry-ingness happen before :) it was exciting. haha and then i touched timbit's lion >< by accident. lol. then...we made fish and chips and i took pictures : ) and then rachel stabbed a lemon.hehe and our whole fellowship was cheering her on. haha good times last night : ) i <3 my cell group.

then we went out to bbt after fellowship. It was me, silas, chung, tiff, betty, freddy, porshia, kitty, ivan, and donna. haha omgsh so joax that my face hrurt so much in the end and i was so exhausted and i almost lost my voice. ahha the bbt was really good too :) hehe feddy's treat. :P haha so joax. :P stories from scott missions hahaha too many good times tiff : ) haha i dont even remember what we talked about last night =/ haha something about metrosexual hahaha and something about...ms.J or something hahaha i dont even remember..but i was just too funny haha i <3 you guys. went home @ 12. omgsh ahha never went home @ 12 before :P hahaha darren, jason, sharon, david & jon look! haha a record :P

so yesterday i was bored before fellowship and made this:




hehe :)

Uncertainty.

I've realized recently that I freak myself out a lot by exaggerating everything a heck lot more...to only myself. It's kind of scary...I'm in my last year of highschool...I'm applying for universities and scholarships...I'm learning to be indepedent. And yet throughout it all, starting from the beginning...it's been rare since i asked...what's God going to do. And not just in fellowship and church but in my LIFE. What does HE want for me? What's He doing THROUGH me?
Even as I am currently writing the last essay for the Canadian Mert award, there's this sense of uncertainty, this sense of fear that things won't go exactly the way they are in my head. It's still very surreal to me that I'm in grade 12...i mean I don't feel any different...sure we feel older and we know everybody in the school...but what about my future? it scares me that it seems so close. I mean I have to apply for universities and what not. and as I'm rushing and planning my future, I hear this little voice. "What if things don't work out this way?" What if I don't get into the university i want to get into? (Queens) and What if I don't get any scholarships and don't have a 90 average and cant get into my program? Then what?

then i hear this other little voice (i'm not psychotic) and it says.."Why are you worrying so much? Whatever happen to giving it up to God this year and letting Him lead you where He wants you to go. Until last year, I never really understood how you can glorify God's kingdom by going to school. I mean...why don't we all just go out and do missions or something and not go to school? But as I study biology and physics and chemistry and all those fun other subjects, i begin to realize and see God in everything. Every little thing i learn in biology amazes me because I realized...God created it all...I mean EVERY little intricate thing. amazing. it's breathtaking.

and in my head i have this little plan that I'm going to serve God by being a (insert occupation) in the future and going to ( insert university) and all that jazz. but at the same time God is saying.."What if i don't want you there?"

I have this amazing fear that i wont get into Queens...because then I wouldn't know what to do. I scared that maybe God doesn't want me there. But then I remembered this:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

and there's reassurance. So even though I'm sinking into a whole sea of uncertainty, it's like there's this little bubble around me that I cant see, helping me understand that everything is going to be alright.

today was cool : ) cept i failed this morning

i didn't turn on my phone...so darren shows up to my door early haha and not bearing a sausage mcmuffin. darn ahha if only i turned on my cell fone. haha oh well. so we went to worship practice : ) hha i tried carrying the congas...to heavy and so i carried the drummer stool instead : ) hahahahahha HUGE difference there. haha then darren made fun of me for the noises i made when i was carrying the electric because it was HEAVY! haha i thought it was. then jw started taunting me tooooo. i was like..are you guys going to taunt me for the rest of my life? they're like..are you going to be like this for the rest of your life? uh oh. ahha then darren walked into the mic stand : ) it was funny. it was like my time to laugh at HIM. i felt accomplished

worship practice was awesome : ) actual worship was even better! haha. i was so filled : ) the whole place was so filled. it's like..you can feel it when people are genuine in their worship. it was exactly what JW said worship should be:

Well chosen

well understood

well played

then i did children's worship ....wow they actually sang today. pretty impressive i must say. haha went back downstairs...and eric stole my jacket, stretched it by wearing it, then tim started taking off my fur. XP i dont like u guys. sunday school is awesome too! : ) talking about leadership : )

then i went shopping!!!!! got a sweater and two scarf belts :) hehe happy :) then i finished bio, which i actually didn't mind doing...i like genetics :) and now im sitting here doing algeo and talking to people : )

thanks mel n dt for trying to reassure me that my 90 really isn't sucha big deal. <3>

saturdayness

k so i went to the open house for UTSC yesterday...i don't really want to go there. haha so 3rd choice. yes. haha the place is very crowded. I don't know...i'm excited for queens in two weeks though! haha

went to worship practice after and talked to darren a little. He was trying to tell me that 90s aren't a big deal. haha as usual, i don't listen haha *sigh i gotta start learning to have less expectations. As much as i want 90s, it's disappointing to know that I might not get them this year. It's even more fustrating knowing that no matter how much i study from the textbook, my teachers are psychotic and think NOTHING like the textbook. *sigh. needa get through this sem, then i'll be fine. forget physics...i'm going to try my best and if i get 80, then 80 it is. haha darren would be happy with an 80 haha : P

so yes. worship practice was AH-MAZING :) haha so fun and loud aha i like it loud now haah i think 4 weeks of loud music got me used to it :P haha no need for earplugs for meeee haha so i'm starting two songs....im scared when i start songs haha i realize my confidence really aint so high...like i don't mind doing stupid things but when people tell me im good at _________, i don't believe them. haha so yes. i'm scared for tomorrow because i'm leading TWO SONGS. ho gang ahhhh haha and totally loving hsieh's christina aguilera style. ahha even though it messes me up :P haha i'll live. haha and darren's awesome electric-ing skills aha omgsh the boy can play everything =/ pronessss haha and when sam says that he'll try...it means he's going to pro it on his first try HAHA :P really really cool : ) the song set is..well picked, well understood, well played. i think that was it :) haha then on the car ride home me and darren made up a new word haha i'm a FREAK with a PH and a C so it's PHREAC HAHA omgsh we have issues. =/

k back to biology in hopes to pass my genetics unit

imu

Christ's Entrusted Servant

k so i think i've prolonged the whole "let's blog about my weekend" long enough. so let's recap about my amazinggg weekenddd

Friday
so fellowship and i drove :) haha got there a little early and helped set up chairs :) it's been a while since i did something so small and felt so good. haha then talked to silas and then i shared before worship started. Wow it was awesome and weird...sitting on the other side. haha but it was just so much more amazing. haha it feels SO good to take a break : P haha sorry rach looks like you'll be taking over for a while :P haha but u're SO good! honestly! haha and jackie is learning how to use the shaker haha. and silas' gtaring always makes me smile haha so pro man. Skit night was mad fun too! : ) i was in a group with daniel, collin, rach, and byron. haha it was so joax, me being stupid and ditzy haha and all the other groups skits were good too! it was AWESOME. haha so joax. i have them all on video :P u want, come talk to me. And the counsellor skit was wicked man. haha tiff was all gangsta and tim was being all nuts haha aww man it was good :) Then after fellowship, i got the phantom of the opera piano book (YES! now i can play) and a cup that TOTALLY describes me haha. thanks.

Saturday
omgsh greatest day EVER. So i woke up at like....7:45...early i know...and got ready for scott missions. I was so excited! i was like excited about it all week! i mean it was so different...never done it before :) ahha so Barry drove me and nat and tommy & joanna down to scott missions and when we got there, we took out all the clothing and what not to bring inside. Then this other couple comes up and wants to deliver some clothes too and since we were already in a line, we offered to bring them in for them. and they were so grateful. They were like...oh wow thank you and they were all smiling and what not : ) it made me so happy. So then we went in and i went downstairs to pack and store and bag food. I must admit, at first i was like...aww i wanted to cook. But when i went down there, i was like..WOW so much food! there was like..an IMMENSE amount of food. and i felt this little tug from God and He said, "I want you to be down here. I have great plans for you." And i smiled because i knew that God never EVER breaks His promises. So first i was bagging rice with tiff and natalie and it was so cool : ) haha it was so much fun just talking to them and getting to know them more and serving with them. It's so different when you're doing something so small with people and you can fellowship so easily. And it was also awesome serving with nat, totally diff serving with someone from school. We were very productive : ) haha and the gloves were mighty tight :P haha and i have sweating problems. hahaha tiff & nat would know : ( Then we bagged granola bars and barry came to join us and help us : ) it was just so cool fellowshiping with them and serving with them.

The whole feeling of humility came upon me, knowing that I'm only doing something so small, yet God can do great things with it. As I bag those granola bars and the powder milk and the rice, I wonder who's going to get these and how big of an impact it would make on these people. I remember one thing that nat said that day that I honestly wouldn't forget. After seeing that people come in here to eat and to find a place where they can just come in for a meal she said, "I feel so happy for them, that they get a place like this to eat" It may not seem much, but at that point, i knew God was using us in His big awesome plan. Isn't that amazing? God, who is so BIG and so AMAZING decides to use US in his plan. Totally blown away man.

Scott missions totally made my week : ) watching so many people do such little things so willingly is amazing and very humbling (is that a word?) And fellowshiping is even better haha so many good times : )

the rest of the day ended well with worship practice and my first time playing piano for sunday service and then my second uncle's wedding reception. ahha totally hype and fun haha dancing was awesome. haha and the DJ rocked. even my PARENTS were dancing. haha that says something. hahahahaha and dessert was AMAZING. i'm a big fan of dessert. haha yummy

Sunday
SO played piano for worship haha i think i should stick to singing and give sam back the piano haha. Dr. Dennis spoke and his message was so inspiring. To bless or to curse. To have a balance of everything. To be a CES (Christ Entrusted Servant) and not a CEO (I don't know what this stands for : P) and then jw sunday school : ) I love JW teaching sunday school haha it's so cool. we took a spiritual gifts test and my top two are music and prayer. and my lowest was leadership..hmm is God trying to tell me something here? But one thing that STRUCK me was the question:

Did God entrust me with this responsibility?

one of my biggest fear is serving in a specific area because I want to, not because God wants me to. Perhaps God has called others to serve, to do a better job.

so yes tonz of lessons this week :) God's taught me

that the little things matter as much as the big things,

that He has called all of us to do something different

that He chose to put us into His plan (wow)

God's taught me a LOT just the past two days.

He gives and takes away.

so two days ago...had the greatest day cuz
a) i was getting a 93 in chem
b) i was getting 95 in algeo
c) i prayed during a test and got soo much better than i expected. TOTALLY His doing

then today:
a) i'm getting 87 in chem
b) i messed up on my algeo test.
i can say im was okay about it...but it was upsetting i guess..it's hard...when u have such high marks..one mistake and they can go down so much. *ugh fustrating. i needa 90 average on that midterm man. But we'll see where God takes me

yea that sums it up.
but im thankful because

- He taught me to not be boastful & prideful
- He gave me AWESOME friends
- He gave me amazing teachers who care so much about me
- He gave me somebody who cares so much about me
- He gave me family that knows that i might fail sometimes and it's okay

so yes : ) k now i needa work. *hai bio quiz tomorrow and i can't bomb that either.

HAHA last night was sooo joax haha .... that was totally the funniest dinner i've had in a VERY long time. hahaha aww man. so we get there at like...7:20 and waited till like 8:10 before we got our table. omgsh there is SO no point in reserving anything haha. and while we're waiting they're like..talking about stories from eric's party on friday. haha as funny as it was..boy am i glad i wasn't there to see the chaos. ahha so the highlights of yesterday:

• haha jason being blinded by my mirror
• darren' soiling himself like..a heck lotta times yesterday
• issy and her whole plate of udon
• kenneth and his 15 scoops of ice cream
• ally g jokes
  
• eric laughing so hard he started crying
• darren CONSTANTLY imitating me
• haaha guys laugh like "hehehe" or in REALLY high voices hahaa me & sharon witnessed HAHA
• the guys constantly touching each other =/ haha
• jason touching darren and singing "sexy lovee" haha
  
• darren getting rice stuck up his nose...spiting it back out and eating it....or jason said it was fish =/
  
• THEN like 10minutes after...the same thing happened to me. cept i wasn't that gross
• jason's impersonation of eric on friday ahha
  
• me going insane over a cute kid
• me & eric's awkward sitting positions
• mike being stuffed into darren's trunk and creating a titanic handmark...or i think that was issy
  

i dont remember anything else but everything was jus too funny. i cried NUMEROUS times last night because of laughing haha and eric ended up crying too hahaha and i remember laughing so hard i couldn't breathe...and i ate a LOT. omgsh i felt soo sick the last sushi i hate was like going to come outta my mouth. haha aww man but i hafn't laughed that hard ina REALLY long time haha thanks guys haha i woke up this morning..with my back hurting from last night and still full fromm last night. haha aww man.

pictures from last night are here:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2100950008

and pictures to kenny's bday are here:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2100952724

enjoy friends :)

i love

- celebrating God's awesome presence : )
- getting some space
- seeing my uni friends back for thanksgiving
- seeing people willing to serve
- loud worship haha
- smiles and laughter
- hugss
- God
- cookies
- the new chris tomlin CD
- spending time w. my cousins

the end :)

k so worship practice made up for my crappy start of a day.

haha it was soo cool! omgsh so loud dough. haha my eardrums and my voice will die soon

haha props 2 darren, jon & sam.... amazinggggggg haha sams pianoing makes me smile ahha and my singing make his lungs quiver =/ hahaha

okay now

and sharon is going 2 get me a time machine for my bday so that darren wont have to drive me home in two minutes : ) haha and he wont b scared when my fone rings haha

and hollie thinks im funny

so im happy now hahaha

and i get to see my cousins 2nite

i LOVE my cousins

eeeeeeeeeeee^^ i got the new Chris Tomlin CD today... : )
and the Philip Yancey book "Prayer , does it make a difference"

How can I keep from singing Your praise? - Chris Tomlin
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is Your love?
How can I keep from shouting Your name?
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing


now that's a song i could TOTALLY relate to.

busy busy busy

haha okay so for the record...hollie you're SOO much cuter than i am LMAO! hahaha i <3>

as for this week...omgsh no more posting haha enuf is enuf. haha i failed my algeo test today. like...80 fail okay hahaha but it still matters! it matters when i want that 95 in algeo :( haha but yes. if i get a 90 on that test it will be MIRACLE. it was pretty cool though...i totally had NO idea how to do one of the questions...so i decided to pray. i don't know about you but i've never prayed DURING a test, especially when there's like...10minutes left. then last 5 minutes i figured out how 2 do it! haha i probably lost some marks cuz it's kinda weird but it was so cool! : ) so yesh. but im still gonna get 80 haha
then i discovered the lab report i did is missing a conclusion lolz! way to end it. ahha ah well it doesnt count anyways :P

k so this week is crunch week for meee. so dun bother me unless u're special hahaha and thanks for the laughs last night phil & nels : ) it was awesome talking to you guys hahha i was TOTALLY high on the "phil&nels" drug ahhaa i love u guys. (we eat air HAHA) and phil cheated on me & nels for the bathroom : P LMAO

k so this week:

mon - algeo test, chem lab
tues - chem test, physics assessment quiz
wed - bio assessment quiz
thurs - physics quiz, meeting w/ freddy, interviews for HOPE
fri - physics lab, interviews for HOPE, thanksgiving dinner or kenny's bday, mel comes home
sat - family dinner, worship practice
sun - eric's bday dinner

nxt week:
mon - thanksgiving, no school : )
tues -
wed - physics slingshot due
thurs - bio test
fri -
sat - scott missions, chillage w/ jc
sun -

haha today was quite fun. haha

woke up @ 7:00 and called jc @ 7:15 to wake him up. got dressed and ate then darren came to pick me up AHHA omgsh. funniest thing this morning. ther'es a man walking his dog

a: "aww it's so cutee"
d: "haha should i run over it?"
a: " no dont! aww it's so cute and fat"
d: "so fat = cute?"
a: "yes : )"
d: "so you're not cute?"
a: "nop"
d: "do you want to be cute?"
a: "umm...nop...well...okay end of conversation"
d: "HAHA"

then during worship:
a: "so darren, am i cute?"
d: " you should get him to answer that question for u"
a: "oh shutup"
d: "j is agnes cute?"
j: "yes?"
a: *gasp*
d: hahahahhaahahah
a: *tells j whole story of this morning
j: oh im sorry...
d: hahahahaha he thinks you're VERY VERY CUTE
a: OH SHUT UP!

so im fat according 2 darren haha it's darren's fault cuz jc had no idea wut we were talking about. ahhaha and darren almost got angry todayyyy haha a man @ tim hortons was awfully close haha

and PJ's sermon was good today : ) it really made me think. haha and his salty pork chops haha

and worship was awesome : ) haha totally filled man. totally lifting. and i am ABSOLUTELY in LOVE with darren's drumming and jc's guitaring and sam's piano-ing. u guys are AMAZING. sooo sick man! and i always hafta go pee EVERYTIME I do worship!!!! EVERYTIME : ( haha and sam went too! i was like...i hafta go pee and sam was like....oh i jus went HAHA u're evil sam. haha and i can see @ the end of it that rach & jackie liked it LMAO jumping up & down and going insane hahaha i can see u 2 from up there u know! haha i can see EVERYTHING AHHA :P

then alton came over. haha and we did our physics project :) yayyy now we know wut 2 do :) haha and alton is dumb : ) i built the sphere and he couldnt do it. ahha i win.

that's it : ) haha i hafta finish my chem lab now. i've been slacking 2 days ahhaha enuf is enuf time 2 work now. hahah but shower first. goodbye now!

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have, Im leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
Be all my delights, be my everything

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord
-only you (DCB)

thanks sharon :P