*sigh

Sometimes i just don't see the point in trying to please people anymore. So basically what happened last night was that....I got yelled @ by my parents again. And it was even stupider because I wanted to go out and I didn't because I knew that they didn't want me to. So therefore...I didn't bother asking. Then...THEN my brother goes and tells my dad on the phone that I wanted to go out and I was like..ughh and I was like..yea dad I considered it just because I haven't been out in like two weeks. And he was just like...okay so I didn't really care at that point in time. Whatever...I don't get to go out..no big deal. Then i get home and I sat in my room for like...30 minutes because for some odd reason, I felt suddenly very exhausted...i felt like...there was something wrong in my life...but there wasn't....kinda weird...so at this point..I was tired. i want to be left alone.
Anyways...no details..wayy to much but basically. I got yelled @ for even thinking about the idea of going out and having "attitude".

So here's why I cried last night. I felt like when I said that I wasn't going to go out...I did the right thing. I mean I considered what my mom wanted no? But I get yelled at anyways because i CONSIDERED it. To this point I feel like..what's the point? either way I get yelled at. Either way I get blamed for things I didn't do. i hate that. I hate trying to do the right thing and it just backfires on you. SO yes I cried last night for about a good 40 minutes and I prayed...it's interesting when you pray and you cry...when you listen to yourself you realize just how much you need Him.

Find shelter in Him.

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

As the thunder rolls 
I barely hear You whisper through the rain 
"I'm with You" 
And as Your mercy falls 
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives 
And takes away ....

Every tear I've cried 
You hold in Your hand 
You never left my side 
And though my heart is torn 
I will praise You in this storm