ughhh

man.friday night..i was ....*sigh....I just had so much....on my mind...first worship practice then actual fellowship..the program..and my cell group. wow...i so regreted taking on so much for ONE night. like..if it was spread out..i guess i would've been okay..but it was all on one night...kinda stressful. First...worship practice didnt start till like...6:45 *sigh...and i never knew that filled with your glory was new. apparently it is...and the chords were all screwy....and then we didnt have an overhead and we were like...starting crazy late...so i started frekaing out..and everything....and *sigh....it seemed like such a long night. i felt like...i screwed up? i don't konw...i jus felt like poop at the end of the day.

anywaysss yes im not gonna like..talk about friday night...if i talked 2 you..u kno how i feel...but thanks guys for everything =) thanks cyrus for reminding me of stuff :) Just totally reminded me that i needed to pray...that we as a fellowship, as a cabinet need to pray and that all those problems we have wont go away till we go about it the right way. God gave us these problems not expecting us to fix it ourselves, but to ask for help. And i learned something today...that God isn't gonna intercede unless you ask Him to. And when you do...He has his timing. We have to get back straight with God...that excitement, that passion, that fire at the beginning of the year...cannot be gone. We just gotta pray. A friend of mine told me that we're all kinda falling right now...and we're gonna keep falling until we ask for help..When we do, God will work, and we will fly =) yes people...fly. Thanks guys for friday night =) I needed it. just to get things outta my head. and thanks for everyone i talked to : ) I love you cabbyyyy people :D

and special happy birthday shoutout goes to issyypoooopp and bnardino =) happy swt 16 guysss

k....let's recap on the past week...man i dun even remember what happened on monday...okay...highlights of this week:
- felt like poop on monday
- soo joax in physics class w. bev and her alien haha her family :P LMAO haha
- bev and her twin (kenny) hahaha
- swimming with my swimming posseyyyyy on tuesdayyy :)

that should be about it regarding school ...yesterday was 2nd week of fellowship :) tonza fun haha it was "not" theme night haha :) i liked the powerpoint at the beginning : ) totally amazingg to symbolize part of our mission statement this year : ) amazing stuff! then we did "who's line is it anyways" to find out what each person was in the cabby : ) total fun and weirdness ahha so us cell group leaders (me, eric, clarence & janice) had to stand back to back and be wrapped in saran wrap then tissue paper. Therefore, my back was towards clarence and man was it hard. first...he was moving back and forth...so i was like...tilting and almost fell. THEN....then the gross-est thing happened! Clarene farted!!!!! and since he was soo much taller than me his butt is like..at my back..and he fartttt ewwwwwwww and i felt like..this rumble too!!!! aww mann soo gross!!! so yes...haha fellowship was fun dough : ) so awesomely cool haha go myers brigggg :) haha i am an extrovert (duh!) and a feeler. haha eric turned out to be a feeler :P haha soo joax then i got bored and drew a bracelet on his arm : ) haha soo sexi mannn haha and i wrote sexiness on it..but i was gonna write sexy...so now it looked like..."sexmess" haha sharon & eric's weird minds :P HAHA

After-fellowship funness was awesomeee :) haha went with eric, sharon, ken & michael..haha soo joaxx we were like...complimenting eric's lang jai-ness haha and then comparing him to orlando bloom LMAO soo joaxx haha then we were just talkin bout boys and what not : ) it was funn..just chilling :) haha awesome stuffff haha and u knooo u love ur bracelet ericcc :P total hotnesssss

seee i told u soo :P

new

so i haven't really blogged about my first week of school...it's been alright...getting use to the fact that I have to wake up at 7 every morning and sleep at 11:30 every night. I missed my friends over the summer. It's cool seeing them again everyday haha and just really cool this year because less laptop courses, which means that there are more people that I've never had classes w/ before like Alton and Kenny. Soyea it's been cool, physics class has been boring, yet fun thanks go Kenny and Bev. =P ahha My teachers aren't THAT bad I guess...things are starting out okay :) So tuesday was the start of a new school year....

Yesterday was the start of a new Koinonia year. A new year to grow, love, laugh, cry, sing, pray together. A new year with new people, new counsellors, new experiences...totally and incredibly exciting! :) I was so excited for last night. So went to church at 5:30 to practice for worship...that was really cool :) new worship team too! haha it's just really cool, actually realizing that it's a new year, and I could just feel God telling me that there's gonna be change, that this year is going to be like no other. Worship practice is always fun :) so went home and ate and then came back...and that's when the night began :) seeing all these new people got me soo excited! hahaha the whole night was just purely amazing. Got to talk to some of the gr 9s and other new people or people I don't usually talk to :P haha I am totally excited for this year :) we've got so many willing and committed people serving this year and this new year...the opportunity of a new start always sheds light and hope into everything :) Let that light keep shining and let not only the level of energy increase throughout the year in Koinonia, but may we become closer, closer to each other, closer to ourselves, and closer to God.

coincidence...destiny...fate...a plan?
why now? why this year?
why not 2 years ago? or 3? why this year?
why at this place?

some things don't change

you didn't and yet you did
we both did

what ifs come to mind...
what if i never left?
would we still be friends now?

my thoughts always seem to wander back to the past...childhood emotions

is it an illusion?
or are you really who I think you are?

schedule

okay first day of school....was well interesting...hectic..and all..turned out my classes weren't that bad...no classes with natalie or jane though :( total bummer. AND i have chemistry first...joy first thing is thinking in the morning ><><>

Sem 1 (Day 1)
Chemistry - Remedios
Visual Arts - Tong
Physics - Dziedzic
English - Pellecchia

Sem 2 (Day1)
Bio - Nazareth
Comm tech - Morassutti
Functions and relations - Burchat
Religion - Rooney

summer...

Before I slept last night, I was just reminiscing about my summer. My hot, amazing, busy, interesting summer. Just remember the friendships I made and the bonds broken and mended. Tomorrow is school and I cant help but ask myself where did my summer go??!??!?! But as much as there was so much more I wanted to do, I'm satisfied. I mean sure my summer had ups and downs, tears, anger and joy, but heck it was all worth it. I mean sure...tears hurt..pain hurts...but I got through it, learning to be strong and taking one day at a time, that it's okay to ask for help and that it's okay to take things slow when you're not ready. Summer...was for me a time to learn, adjust, realize, let go, laugh, and live. Looking back, I couldn't have gone through this summer w/o my amazing friends who helped me through everything. You guys know who you are. Thanks for teaching me, giving me that support when i need it, laughing with me, crying with me, being there when i call : )

Truly blessed

recap

so i woke up at 8:30 this morning because I had to go pee haha turns out i couldn't get back to sleep because of my stuffy nose So i watched a little TV and then decided to eat breakfast and here i am...so let's recap on what happened since tuesday shall we?

Tuesday
nothing happened...stayed at home all day then we had coffeehouse meeting which i think turned out pretty good good feedback and advice for next year

Wednesday
Once again...stayed at home all day, except it felt kinda nice, just to be able to sit at home and relax...drew a little...played a little piano haha i actually felt kinda happy

Thursday
Me, Jane, Bev, & Nat decided to cancel on going to the mall and so I sat at home writing cards for the grads. Then at night, I went to cabby cell group, which was amazing. Having concert of prayer and being able to ask God to bring me back into His arms, to hold me and never let me go. And it just felt like...He was telling me that everything was going to be okay and for the first time in a very long time, I opened up myself to be vulnerable and yet I felt so safe. And there was a time at which we went to a counsellor and they were to pray for us. So I went to JW. And I was just telling him how lost I felt, how in a way I wasn't willing enough. And I asked for two things, passion and humility. And he prayed for me, and then i started crying! I think I finally realized how lost I was, realizing how far I've strained from God....and how much I really need Him that was really amazing. Then we had to plan September's programs wow....I never knew it was that hard...but yea, it was a good night

Friday
Friday was such an awesome day. As usual, my mother woke me up early because I have to get used to waking up early for school but yes, so I spent all morning finishing up cards for the grads. Man there were so many cards to write! haha seriously when I had like...5 left i didn't feel like writing anymore But I did finish eventually. Then I went over to go pick Darren up to go eat lunch. Dude that was fun haha times of me, mel & darren is always fun so we ate at Galleria at Commerce and that was fun haha sitting there for like...30mins trying to figure out what to eat and looking at all the menu spelling errors like...coin chicken lolz...and looking at the menu and thinking that hot dog and ham was a hot dog with a piece of ham haha what a sad lunch ahha darren thinks sad and then so when we finally ordered it was just fun chilling and all haha. After lunch, we wandered aimlessly for quite a while until we decided to go to the park..lolz so walking like...halfway almost to karen's house. and so we found a shovel and it was just soo much fun :) haha I guess a time to chill w. the two of them not gonna happen that often after a while. Then I went home, finished up cards, showered, ate, then went to fellowship. Grad night was sad :( I cried again this year! AGAIN! I honestly didn't think that I would cry and i did! mann that encouragement line just always ends up making me cry. I'm gonna miss people soo much :( man next week is a new year. A year to start off fresh and meet new niners and a new set of old gr 12s. :P Good luck to all those going into university :) and remember to come visit us!