poooooooooo

i wanna read when God writes your love storyyyyy
jesssicaaaa cheung lend it to me =) please? =)

done!

course selection sheet due monday...i have finally chosen my courses....because me going into pharmceutical tech or design tech

- bio
- chem
- physics
- comm tech
- visual art

gee i hope i dun get bio, chem, and physics all in one sem..that would suck..big time

perspective

God has honestly given me a lot this week. Things are looking up =) and i'm happy haha. This week wasn't long...nor was it short...time was just..time...and I wasn't waiting for the day to end. I went by everyday, having a positive attitude, even in school...surprisingly and I guess with that, i like my classes a lot more. Just seeing things on a different perspective can totally change your day..or how you feel..your mood, etc. I mean like...this week...weather's been nice =) things have just been really great. I mean crazy things didn't happen...but i mean..you don't need crazy things to happen to be happy =) so yup =) i found this story..pretty cool stufff =) they read it at my school too...like..a month ago..i thought it was pretty cool =)

One day a father and his rich family took his son to a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family.
When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"Very good Dad!"
"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.
"Yeah!"
"And what did you learn?"

The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden, they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden, they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon."

When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.His son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!"

Isn't it true that it all depends on the way you look at things? Perspective is honestly a beautiful thing =)

hope you liked it =) and hope everybody has a great rest of the week..haha

Prayer night =)

man...yesterday was honestly amazing. This whole week i've been trying to get back on track...and asking God to come back...for ME to go back to Him rather....and allow me to feel His presence. Last night was honestly incredible. When i was worship, when i was praying, I knew He was there for Jesus said:

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. (Matthew 18:20)

I was honestly in awe yesterday in EVERYTHING. I had no words to explain it. Prayer meeting was awesome..haha first time there...but honestly to hear how humble people were when praying it was just so amazing and i totally felt God's presence there, listening to the cries of His children. Just during the whole night, I guess I learned more and also just...got to reflect and everything, just praying for the church and stuff...i never knew there could be so much to pray for. lolz...but yea..then there was the candlelight thingy and i was with edwin & kitty. It was just so amazing you know? And there was music playing and I felt the Spirit in Me. I had sucha great urge to just Praise our Heavenly Father and it was just soo amazing you know? We did spontaneous prayer and it was just so amazing..haha i sang with the music and I prayed and I was like...I felt so on fire. Just throughout the rest of the night, my spirit was up and everything =) One night at fellowship can do a whole lot =)

Another thing, i'm so happy our cell group is getting closer =) it's so cool! haha like...i remember just like...3 weeks ago we were talking about we gotta work on it and stuff. And these past few weeks...our cell group is just opening up to each other and stuff =) I can honestly see some people grow, just opening up more and yea =) It's amazing =) haha i'm happy now haha but yea our cell group is getting smaller though...but that's okay! we're tight hahahaha i love you guys! And thanks to Jess C & Edwin & Jess W haha counsellor and cell group leaders =) u guys are awesomeeeee =) totallie haha

Snowglobe...

lalalalalala =) no hmwk todayyy =) haha it was snowing outside and me and jane were in science class and we were like...wowwww and this is what we came up with. Jane said that it looked like a snowglobe..haha so i was like..OOO it's like the world's like God's snowglobe..haha so pretty =) haha He shakes it up once in a while and makes it all pretty =) haha yes yes we're crazy...haha
On the other hand. Thing i'm trying to really do: Give up everything to GOD! try to stop trying =P haha and honestly I mean...life without God is meaningless and I guess many times i've tried to do things on my own...only to find out i can't do it...over and over again...haha you would think i would learn...*sigh..but yea...I just need to trust and put EVERYTHING is God's hands.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31)
I need to trust more upon the fact that God provides in ALL circumstances

Amazing Love

God you are honestly an amazing God. It just amazes me and sometimes even hard to grasp because you're so big and so eternal. And Father God, I know I have been unfaithful and so many times i have turned my back on you. Father I want to come back to you, I've strayed so far, trying to come back on my own, but God, I need your help. I want to come home to you again. I want to be able to praise you again with all my heart and truly be on fire for you God. Father I don't want any prize, no feast, no nothing, just that you guide me back to you. I know I am not worthy of your forgiveness and Father I stand in awe of you because your love and mercy never changes. Your love and mercy overflows and I just thank you so much and You deserve all my praise. In Jesus Name, Amen.

it's really amazing how God just comes and give you this "hug", telling you that everything's going to be okay when you feel like breaking down because you've drifted so far. I was reading John 10 today after school, and it talked about Jesus as the good shepherd and we are the sheep. And all these things He was saying all led to his death for us. It's indescribable as to how grateful and in awe i am at His love. Sometimes it's like...unbelievable that He would die for us, for ME. I don't deserve it...yet He loved us so much that He died for our sins. I was looking at the daily bread devos...and there was a quote:
Believing that Jesus died, that's history; believing that Jesus died for me, that's salvation.

*sigh...
How could it be? That you were the one on the cross. Lifted for all our shame. How could it be? The scares in your hands, are for me. You are the king of all.
(More than life - Hillsongs)

Love is in the air

happy valentine's day =) haha valentine's day...a day of...love and affection...haha why do we have a day for love? I mean...don't you show love and affection everyday to people? I don't know...but yea
haha funny how it's valentine's day and what's on my mind. I guess after the conversation I had with you last night, it made me reflect and think i guess...
Is there really a line that people can see or draw to separate friendship and relationship? Is there a distint point where you know and you can say that you know the difference? It's hard...because I don't know...maybe it's different for everybody because people may have a wide range of ideas but seriously what line? You can't draw a physical line...like...what and what not to do...because that's honestly kind of stupid. Emotional lines? controling your feelings? hard thing to do man. But i don't know...i guess we all have to draw our own lines because it's different for everyone.

Another thing....typical question that may don't have the answer to:
What is love?
Yes the Bible answers what love is... the aspects of love in 1 Corinthians 13. Paul makes it perfectly clear that love is important...even most important...more important than faith and hope. But how do you know when you're in love? I mean...yes the aspects are there...but i mean...how can you tell? it's so hard...like...honestly...who honestly knows what love is, and how love feels? I don't even know where i'm going with this. But yea...I guess makes me wonder to what extent of love have a truly experienced...haha yes yes i mean i know i'm a loved person :P haha family and friends...but yea...i don't know..haha

On another less thoughtful note, i'm not at school =) hehe freezin rain= no school =) haha yayynesss but yeaaa...haha

i lavvv you all =) happy valentine's day again =) that's all for now

Later Days~

girls, girls, girls

When a GIRL is quiet,Millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing,She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you,She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest,She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL calls you everyday,She is seeking for your attention.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,She wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL sms's u everyday,She wants you to reply at least once.

When a GIRL says I love you,She means it.

When a GIRL says that she can't live without you,She has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a GIRL says "i miss you",No one in this world can miss you more than that

haha i found this.... =) haha

November baybeeee

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique
and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong
clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable

hmm...interesting..haha some of these aren't relli tru..hahaha like...less talkative..hahaha =P

Koinonia retreat =)

*sigh...i got back from retreat yesterday at 5:30 and i miss it...*sigh...it was so much fun...so tiring...but so much fun. wow...I really needed that retreat...i mean ever since baptism...i haven't been the greatest i guess...not on track...drifting a lot..and that retreat helped me see at least the direction i have to go. Honestly...kevin's sermons helped me a lot. Humility, Discipline, and Surrender. THREE TOPICS =) wow...it was just so amazing...you know...like..how God spoke to me, telling me that I need to just let go, let Him do it, and be disciplined EVERYDAY! IT's sucha hard thing to do because so many times i worry, but God's telling me that it's okay...because He will deal with it because He has His will for me and all i need to do is let Him do it...do His will instead of my own. and wow...on sunday..the songs..were amazing...we didn't know the sermon was about surrender your will for His...and our response song..was surrender...God is an awesome God =) truly He is.
It was also so awesome i got to stargaze and stuff...and it's just so amazing to look at God's creation...see the beauty He has created in this world...and it just totally reflects the song Indescribable ....how all the stars in the sky and every creature praises Him, reflects His glory and majesty. wow....i miss retreat but yes...it was totally worthwhile! TOTALLY!

here's pix from retreat if u wanna see:http://www.imagestation.com/member/?name=lil-angel-4ever

for 3ternity

today sermon PJ was talking about our purpose right? and there was something he said that was sooo true...he said that compared to eternity, our life on earth is like a weekend vacation. Sometimes we tend to get all settled in and make sure everything is comfortable and all, but in the end, you're gonna have to leave anyways and in the end, none of it will matter. And it's so true to our lives. I mean so many times I make big deal outta things that really don't matter. Many times we sit there making sure we're happy, making sure we're living life to the fullest. But are those deeds that you see as fullest really pleasing to God? I mean we can just sit there and let the time go by, thinking we're bored and have nothing else better to do...but every minute counts, why not do something that will count for ETERNITY. I mean yes it's exam week..and yes ppl are stressed..and yes ppl wannna get good marks...But i really don't think God cares whether you get a 70 or a 90 on that exam. Sure, He might care how HARD you TRY but in the end, it doesn't really matter becuase it doesn't count for eternity. But instead..try doing something that would count..like praising Him, spreading His Word, praying, doing devos, things like that =) things that are perfect and pleasing in HIS eyes. so what you waiting for? go out there and SERVE THE LORD! =) haha
and don't worry about exams THAT much
it's not the end of the world if u dun get the mark u want to

later days~

carrying the cross

http://www.donghaeng.net/english/cross.htm

i came across this the other day...and just made me think...i mean...we can be like that too..a lot of times...almost giving up...wanting God to give us less problems..less loads so that we can take the shortcut, get there easier. There are times where it seems like our load we can never carry alone..but WE ARE NOT ALONE!...I mean...it may be hard to see God in the bad times...because there are times when I wonder why God is letting this happen you know? but I've come to learn that even my limits, my load, my burdens are a blessing too...because God is testing me, testing my faith, allowing me to live and grow stronger. =) and that's the beauty of it. You always get something better in the end =) hehe but yea =) remember this:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

people who don't really care

you know what...you tell me you care...you call me your best friend..HA! you're really funny..u know what..sometimes you're just so selfish it bothers me soo much! like..honestly...I know i'm suppose to help you and stuff expecting nothing in return..and i do..but when you only care about yourself and just don't care about me..this one way relationship..i wonder if you're even a friend...honestly..and u know what? i really don't care if u read this..because maybe you just need to know the truth...u think i'm joking all the time..sometimes i just aint..i still care...but just yea..simplest things that jus build up..

blessed

It's hard to be thankful for things when you're in the spiritual desert. There are just times where it feels like there is nothing to be thankful of. Sometimes we are so into our little problems we tend to forget the little beauties around us. It's hard, to be thankful all the time, but that's what i gotta learn to do more of. Lately, I've been complaining a lot...mainly on school..and well...for Bible study on friday, Jess gave us all a challenge....try not to complain about your homework...i was like..aww man..that's hard...so let's see...i didn't complain on saturday..and i felt better...really complaining blinds you...from seeing the thinks you should be grateful for, things you may often take for granted. And well i took a lot of things for grated this past week...my friends, my family, and even God. I take for granted the fact that He blessed me with so much. I take for granted His everlasting love and mercy...but..u know what...this weekend..my friend was able to help me see...see those beauties in life...those little things that matter the most....those things...that we see everyday as normal, yet 3/4 of the people in the world don't have. The roof on your head, the food placed on your table, the clothes on your back, everything comes from God. And you know what? as many times as you have heard this..i think we all need a reminder once in a while...to see how beautiful life really is. I mean..we are truly blessed people...so yes =) i think this week is going to be better....i know i have a lot of work..but still...i mean..there are kids out there...in Ethopia and other 3rd world countries..who would love to be you, who would love to go to school..you & i are given the opportunity..and yes...homework may be a waste of time..but sooner or later.you gotta do it..so why not do it with a thankful heart?

-later dayz-

trusting people

Some people can just be really fake. As bad and mean as that may seem, it is also very true. I'm not saying you have to be totally transparent. But when you dislike yourself so much that you decide to lie about yourself, that's too far. I mean...honestly I thought we were friends. Even if I heard other people say things about you, I still cared and to a certain extent trusted you. But honestly you decide to go so far as to lying about your BIRTHDAY what is that?!? *sigh...

Now I just don't know what to believe...you've just put me on a crossroad...I mean yes there were times where I didn't believe you....now it's just...I don't know

What are true friends? People who stick by your side no matter what. People who know you inside and out. People you can just talk to...without hiding anything. For some weird reason, I realized that as you grow older, the less people will accept you for who you are. But hey I mean that's part of growing up is it not? And it's harder being Christian too because those who belong to the world will walk away from you, but you have to understand that it's the right thing, that you may be hanging with the wrong crew.

I don't understand why you would hide yourself so much. *sigh...you can't say people won't like you for who you are when they have NEVER seen the real you. I don't even know what's lies and what's not anymore about you.

me again..haha

I don't know whether it is that i'm bored or is it i have a lot on my mind...

I know i've been really off lately...like i've just been off track on just about everything
I know i've neglect a lot of things, my family, friends, and especially God...
*sigh homework is stressful...getting lazy and tired of doing the same things over and over again.
I know I haven't been the best company
I know i might not have been the best friend
And i'm sorry
I've been so off-track..i needa know how to balance things out..things have been getting a little better i guess..but they're like...centimeter steps...*sigh...burnt out basically

It's amazing...how no matter how pathetic i am...or how ungrateful i may be...or how annoying i can be...God is ALWAYS there for me...it's amazing..and how he provides so much for me still...providing me with the people who never give up on me...
No matter what i do, it's never gonna be enough to thank God because He's just SO amazing and so Big

Count your blessings

>< tired

ahhh school is driving me crazy! there's so much to do!! homework and projects and isps and all these cramming is making me loose sleep.. soo tiiredddd *hai and worst of all...it's making me get off course in my spiritual life. See...when i work late, i get tired, i want to sleep, making me become lazy and not do my devos *sigh... i need to know how to balance out my things....u know..work and God..and family & friends...*sigh...balanceee something that is a very big weakness of me...wow i dun think that made sense ..anyways *Sigh..i need time..to just sit there..be silent...u know...away from stress and the distractions of life.. I need to talk to God..and I need to hear Him talk.*sigh..if onlly it was summer..then i'd go to the park..haha *sigh...i'm getting so tired ><><>

this year...

haha things i wanna do this year...let's see how many i actually get done :P

- grow closer to God --> Prioitize!!
- definately try harder not to fall into temptation
- learn how to snowboard
- build back relationship with people who grew distint
- go skiing
- learn to be more patient
- less judging, more loving
- learn how to sing from my diaphragm :P
- get 90 over average
- exercise more! man so out of shape ><
- loose 10 pounds
- stop getting so angry and offended so easily
- less self-aware :P lolz edwin
- stop complaining about the smallest things and start being more grateful

and lastly...and the most important...DO GOD'S WILL!


wishing you all a happy new year =)

Bye bye 2004, Hello 2005

wow..it's 2005 soon...crazyness...wow this year went by really quickly when you think about it....but i don't remmeber what i did in January ><

Best of 2oo4 (I tried to put it in order :P)
- natalie and jane in geo =P haha jane's crazy "I'm at the top of the world" act :P
- haha our crazy jokes nat and jane in our classes :P crazy stuff! we were unseperatable :P
- geo class joax..with mark and raz and michael HAHA :P fishies and killage and wanting to be PM HAHAHA
- Jane's crazy drawings in my agenda! HAHA her penguins =P n our crazy lil songs
- March Break- TC!!!! GO GIDEONS! haha Samantha :P~ met nels & phil :D
- 30 hour famine ~ tonza fun :) it was all worth it! haha jon wanted to go 30 more hours :P
- Candee, Michael, Lester, & Kevin's baptism! =)
- haha me and natalie giving up on msn for lent
- Jane's obssession over dancing hamsters =P www.dancinghamster.com
- haha the awesome word by meagan: shrumph as oppose 2 smurf
- Krystaal's Concert --> that was AWESOME! incredible!
- all those good times at Natalie's house with Jane's laughing spasms =P
- Spring/Summer Choir =) Lydia, Andy & Kenneth =)) you guys rule!
- Coffeehouse 2004 haha thanks to michelle =P "forcing" me to act =P HAHA i can now laugh @ anything :P
- VBC ~ haha GM w/ Mich, Nels, Eric, Matt, & Micah =) haha and my kids =) hannah
- park day..haha with Clarence and Kitty =) awesome :) so peaceful haha the kid w/ the ketchup chips and clarence and the playground :P
- melo, andrea, & rach's birthday party @ jon's =)
- all those awesome nights in jason & danielle's cell group
- all those awesome nights (and more to come) in edwin & jessica's cell group =D
- edwin officially becoming my mom HAHA all candee's fault! =P i love you mommy
- missions night --> skit directing =) haha melody's dry dry dry powers :P
- my birthday chicken suit :P
- darren's birthday @ cy's =) haha whip cream + shaving cream hahaha
- Ottawa trip =D haha such awesome times in the hotel HAHA
- my baptism =) the greatest day of the whole year!!!

that's all for now =D haha this year's been quite sucessful =) haha
i la la la lavv you all =)

hmmm...blah blah...

i ran out of titles for my blogs..i don't really know what this one is about anywayys..i guess whatever comes to mind. This holiday..isn't as great as a wanted it to be...i mean..so many things i wanted to do that i didn't GET to do ><..and i tried making the most out of it..so i guess it wasn't THAT bad...it's just...there's just certain people that i just wanna spend more time with and like...i wish i could...well there's like..what..8 days left of the holidays...as painful it is...it's tru :( *sighh I was watching this video yesterday..where there's a scene of kids playing in a park..haha brought me to remember my childhood..those good old times where you can just go crazy and nobody will think you're crazy..cuz it's okay to be crazy at a young age...but now..people expect you to grow up...they expect you to know what to do ..and stuff like taht..and it's like..argh* sometimes..i just wanna be carefree again...*sigh...those were the good days...