in awe

so i never really got around to posting this...but now i have time : ) 1/2 hr before i tutor. so i figured why not.

This weekend has been absolutely amazing. I must say prom was so much fun. Even though i had a headache it was mad fun : ) haha so joax like jane licking herself and the awkward pictures me and nat took : ) and my date was awesome (as usual) haha did me justice by dancing with me :P Definately an awesome way to spend the first day of june : )

Then the next day i woke up at 8 to shower and go to worship practice. i love worship practices. I love the talents of each person and i love how we just mesh so well : ) <3 u guys.

hillsongs...the greatest thing. it was, for me, the most awe-inspiring thing ever. it was like a wake up call. one of those things that you don't really expect. God is good. lining up for like two hours and sitting in the scorching heat haha it was worth it. and i had fun waiting :P our random crotch pictures (facebook!) and all our beloved pictures and fun times on the subway and the bus : ) i loved hillsongs. seeing 10000 rising..excited...screaming at the top of their lungs for God. absolutely phenomenal. it's so different seeing people of ALL ages, all races come together...for God. i think this may be one of the very few concerts where young and old go crazy for once cause. i loved it. it was uplifting. it was a sign for me that God is still working. and that is something i need to be constantly reminded of. this sight was honestly beautiful.


stolen from candy*


In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high
- Came to my Rescue - Hillsongs United

now time to be brave and let the Savior of the world take over : )

hehe excited for fondue girls night : )

bbb

blessed. beyond. belief.
this easter weekend was definately one for the books :)

Koinonia Cabinet
nothing could replace the feeling i felt when i woke up at 6am in the morning to drive over to tiff's house. haha i think i almost forgot to wake up too :P it was amazing. when i was driving and i saw the sunrise i was in awe. it's been a while since i last looked at a sunrise or sunset and felt totally refreshed. : ) man sometimes it feels good to be awake in the morning. haha it was so nice just to sit there and update each other on our lives, sharing about our burdens, our joys, our stories. and through all of this, God, yet again, reminds me of His mighty hands that are constantly at work. I felt this sense of peace, sense of...joy that i definately haven't felt in a while. and for the first time, i thought about my breath. I was challenged to see everything around me as holy ground and the presence of God in every person, christian or nonchristian. that everyday we are uttering the name of God. true inspiration. : )
that morning was quite unlike any other. ahha all the laughs that made my stomach and face hurt haha and the steak and eggs that made me so full i didnt feel like eating for the rest of the day :P i love koinonia cabinet : ) u guys never stop bringing joy to my heart : )

Family time
haha i love my family. they're a little weird, a little loud, haha but amazing. quite an interesting weekend of endless food and catching up with my cousins : ) hehe and the little ones never cease to amuse me. they're growing up so fast. ahaha. a little scary indeed. lolz. but i love them : )

Friends <3
the ones who always let me know how much they love me. i love how some of you could ALWAYS make me feel better : ) it was awesome seeing some of my friends that i haven't seen in a while and it was just cool all of us hanging out : ) hehe loving all the joax and the weird things you guys do and talk about when we're all together lolz.

Baptism
total inspiration seeing people grow and seeing their growth inspire and speak to others. : ) congrats to everyone. God is indeed working.

and to end of with my fav verse, seems to be coming up a lot haha

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
- Jeremiah 29:11

amen to that : ). let go and let God

hehe my favourite picture of this weekend :P

update.

so it's been one and half week since my trip from Disney. it was quite amazing. haha lots of laughs and unforgetable moments. :P haha kinda lazy to post it right now though. haha if you want to know, you can ask me yourself =P haha but just some crazy things i'll never forget

- crystal light
- luck of the irish, bling it on LMAO.
- our awesome stuffed animals
- andrew tse
- haha coconuts and palm trees

haha awww man. awesome time in florida. not very tanned though. kinda sad. anywayss pictures are a thousand words...so :P

the many adventures of agnes and natalie

hehe my monkey listenin 2 my ipod

best friendss : )

our awesome food

woodieeeee : )

our future homes :P we live nxt to each other haha

pretty : )

i love those circle squishy pillows : D

tiarassss

minnie mouse's fireplace

yo what. we're so cool. haha

my two best friends AHHA this picture DESERVES to be extra big. ahahhaa

the wall of stitch ahhaha i totally blend in.

anywaysss wanna blog about more important things. ahaha lately, i have been overwhelmed with the fact of how blessed I am. It is truly amazing to be blessed with so many amazing things.

I thank God for
- the joy i find in serving Koinonia
- my amazing and supportive counsellors
- uplifting conversations and encouragements
- my amazing supporting friends
- my family in Christ

weeeeeeeeeeee

YAY.

five more days till florida :)



hehe soo excited :)

no words could describe how happy i am right now : )

so yesterday school was kind of dumb...skipped eng to go to jane's to prepare. hehe it was fun : ) been a while i was hanging with my girl : )

so went home showered...and got ready
left the house at four and we went...went a little early so we sat in starbucks for a while. it was freezinggg.

dinner was amazing : ) and the phantom of the opera was just breathtaking. i absolutely loved it. i love watching plays...so captivating.

a lot of firsts yesterday
...first taxi ride
...first play w/ boyfriend
...first time @ La Maquette
...first time at Dimitri's
...first time walking out in the cold night

*sigh. madly happy

Koinonia Retreat 2007

so it's been a week..probably the exact time almost too since we left for retreat last week. And i'm probably the slowest person EVER to write about it. haha got some thinking i needed to do after i got back from retreat.

so i must admit...came back from retreat...i didnt feel as satisified as i wish i did...but i mean after some thinking...and some reflecting...God has totally showed me what a true blessing it was to chill with all those koinonians for one weekend.

3 days...2 nights...
that's all it took for me to see true genuine fellowship. For the first time in a longggg time in koinonia i saw no cliques...everyone just...talked...no awkwardness...no silences. haha i got to know so many of the gr9 girls. haha so little...so happy...so excited for the fact that this was their first retreat. haha i think they're all so cute :P haha.

it was amazing though...from the food...which was oh so good : ) haha to the joax like at 5am in the morning :P haha i got to see the awesomeness of Koinonia. They're my family. that's it...right there : ) God has been so gracious. and He provided soo much during this retreat : ) all the awesome girl talks and the bonding...and all the talks i had with my girls : ) just being able to catch up with them and what not. and praying about the boiler. it was major stress this retreat. haha probably becuase this is the first time i was in it so much...but it went through. God changed lives, God worked, God provided, God was there.

I know everybody wrote all this stuff about the highlights and what we did...but retreat for me was more than that : ) it was about seeing what true fellowship meant and how i want to see it every friday (taking out the foosball table and pool table) haha but i will talk about highlights :P cuz there are some things that i cant forget even if i wanted to. haha so here goes:

highlights
- stayin up with jt, jto, byron, and kitty till 5:30am. haha
- jt's ability to throw his guitar across the room : ) (i think that's jto's fav memory :P)
- the awesome random conversations of the girls all stuffed in one room the first night
- awesome devos : )
-pastor ian! who by the way was amazing : )
- kitty dancing to fergilicious
- tim, jto, jt, & mike singing to songs. haha
- walking in the dark towards nowhere and singing trance songs haha
- watching the boys go "tubing"
- throwing snow in collin's face : ) that was fun.
- owning jto as i push him into the snow everytime : )
-candlelight sharing : ) haha first one where nobody cried. wow. haha saving it from grad night ;P
- the awesome skits from the counsellors : )
- awesome gr12 w/ glasses pictures :P haha i love my 12ersssss

so picture time :P


my favourite girls : )


aww candiee i heart u

all the girliess

one of my fav pics : ) ahha this is how many ppl i can take in a shot :P


mike, me & jto

large group of ppl :P

my grade 12 girliesss <3

my roomiesss : )

family portrait

we're happy : )

now we're REALLY happy

now we're just weird

haha so for those of u who kept asking how retreat was :P here it is. enjoy

oh and if u want more pictures: u can go on facebook...or my pictures are here: http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2095585747

I've learned...

- that as flawed as I am, I am loved
- that no matter what, God will ALWAYS provide what i need
- that God speaks through people
- that everyday is a new start, a chance for me to wake up and take chances
- that when given a task, God does not expect us to succeed, but rather ask for His help.
- that giving God full control is tough...
- that smiles and laughter cures a lot of things
- that there's NO way i can go through life alone...
- that as important as marks seem to be...they are so not worth crying over
- that God's work in Koinonia NEVER ceases to amaze me and surprise me
- that what I want to do is not necessarily what God wants me to do.

sooo let's take all those awesome things that i learned last semester and...carry it along with me to the second. i have a good feeling about this sem. friends in my classes, im kind of liking world issues too. :) good start to my last highschool semester.

back to the basics.

i realized that when i xanga or blog or whatever...it's for other people to read...to update people on what's going on. So what about me? i remember getting blog or xanga at first so that when there's something on my mind...i can just say it u know...so from now on that's what it's going to be...me..inside and out. if you want to know what's going on...you can ask me.

lately i've been feeling empty...not like the lonely empty...more like the...unsatisified...then unfilling hunger of something more. it's like...no matter what good marks i get, or how many people i hang out with, or how many times i call people on the phone, or how many emails i get...they're just...temporal satisifaction. at the end of the day...there's a hole in my heart and soul that none can fill cept for God. I've been drifting a lot...acknowledging it...yet not doing anything about it. it sucks...really really sucks. and im not sure why. perhaps it's because i just don't want to fix it enough...or maybe im too lazy...or maybe i'm too busy...k that last one was a horrible excuse. God always gives us enough time. i believe that. I'm not really going anywhere spiritually. when people say im "hardcore christian" i hate it...because i can't live up to that. I read my devo..this morning...haven't done devos in a while....read the book freddy gave me...My Utmost for His Highest. and today's devo was about solitude with God. wow...it's been a while...since i let go of all my ideas, questions...and just sat in front of God...at His feet and listened. it said that God cannot possibly teach us until we let go of our questions...ideas...anything...and just sit there...in awe...in silence. When there's nothing left...when there's nothing that can satisfy us...when we are in the state of total depravity...He teaches. ha. no wonder i haven't been growing. i've been doing everything for myself...never felt like there was meaning to it...i study cuz I want to get a good mark...i make decisions without the concent of God. I've currently been reading the book Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado (good book)...basically talking about the story of David...and there was a point in time where none of his decisions had God in it...like apparently for chapters, God's name wasn't even mentioned. and in the end...his whole family suffered from it.
There's a sense of nothingness when nothing goes to God...sense of emptiness when none of your decisions are brought up to God. it's time to change that...in everything i do, bring it up into prayer...whether it be choosing university, doing things for retreat, even when going out or doing my work. and may i expect something...not just empty words...but may i expect an answer...because God ALWAYS gives one.

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
-Mark 11:24

hoi sum new year =)

Happy new years everyone!

this year has had it's ups and downs
those tough, crying days
those crazy unforgetable moments with the coolest kids around
those bittersweet moments
those moments that make you go aww
those awesome late night phone calls or long phone calls that make your arm hurt from holding the phone too long
the cards, the gifts, the letters
the endless emails
those amazing moments where I could jus sit in the presence of God

hehe so highlights of this week, cuz it was honestly amazing! haha and i havent updated in a while.

Jam Day
-lotz of creativity, random playing, and just pure fun =) spontaneous man. TOTALLY spontaneous. good times with you guys : )
- haha going to M&Ms and taking FOREVER to figure out what to eat
- me & mel talkin =) love u girlll
-playing gamecube =) hehe screamin is fun....but my awful lost wasn't. sooo humiliating.darn you darren.
- yummy foood and desert : ) hehe very very yummy

Downhere Concert
- left house at 4:30 and went downtown with dt, mel & kitty
- mel was dying..her head was falling off haha and me & dt being mean about it (volunteer?) haha we love u mel
- went to eaton center for a while
- went to little anthony's for dinner, spent so much =(
- not being able to pronounce any of the food names. HAHA failing when ordering (penne is pronounced pen-ae)
- me & ky talkin about our boys
-cheryl came to join us =)
- movie talk haha aww poor mel. that was day 1 of the 3 day strike movie talk haha
- went to cheryl's room and mel tried to feel better =)
- haha me & ky were flying and eating buildings HAHA (this is how bored we were)
- dt crushed advil and failed, leaving lil bits stuck in ody's mouth
- downhere concert was awesome! saw joses & rachel :) haha i loved the concert!!!! =) so many good times
- dt's "rock stars need money" t-shirt
- desert @ baton rouge =) it was yummy
- cheryl & my "agnes moments"

30th
- went to worship practice : ) got my scary present hehe
- went to eatons like all day =) bought boots & pjs
- got two CDs :)

New years eve
- going to national's and dt trying 2 wear my shoe =/ and i thot he broke it. haha
- wings with hsieh, eric, sharon, justin, & fok jr. haha thanks hsieh! so yummy! haha first time there haha i feel accomplished HAHA
- talkin about double datin' for the holiday =)
- watched pursuit of happYness : ) i love i love. hehe mel kept crying. i almost cried.
- me & ky's love for tarzan haha
- played jenga w/ my cousins and took weird pictures haha
- went to jfok's house after dinner where we watched me, you, and dupree, it was okay. haha
- playing mau. I KNOW HOW TO PLAY NOW haha it was fun, my rule rocks : )
- watching...some..movie that jason really liked HAHA on TV. what was it? something about...this guy who dressed up as a nanny or something? to fix his marriage?
- countdown =)
- he called =)
- we were soo tired, tickling dt is fun =)
-ahha ky screaming when she tried turnin on bathroom lights
- my interesting...chocolate experience
- chocolate mouse cake =)

hehe total joax.
still to come:
- trisia's party
- double date haha
- jammin with my cousins!

hehe =) and i still gotta finish
- chem exam
- bio isu
- study for algeo test

and throughout the break, i bought
- garage top
- guess bag
- feet first boots
- lasenza pjs
- mittens and tank top from urban planet
- and many dinners that left my poor.