judged

I have this huge urge to blog before i keep rethinking and bursting into tears.

I feel so empty right now...i felt so invisible tonight. It was kind of like walking into fellowship and even though people talk to you, i don't know..i had this lonely feeling....or maybe it was just me in a bad mood. but keeping that smile on works..until you just cant keep it up anymore. When you don't show sadness...just...no expressions.

Sometimes i feel like i've done so many things wrong to other people....like i always constantly mess up...saying the wrong things...doing the wrong things. and it's like..constantly being judged for it. iuno ..i got my bio test back today..highest mark in the class...and my teacher says it outloud too..and even before he said it..heard people saying...."Oh it's going to be Agnes again" and it hurts. I mean...you're not supposed to be ashamed of good marks right? but when people look at you like...they hate you and judge you because you're trying your best..like it hurts. It's not like i want to beat everybody. I just wanted to do good. *sigh I don't know...i wasnt feeling so great the rest of the day.


*sigh...i feel so alone right now. =(

=) b-e-a-utiful

this week has been..really slow haha I don't know..but everyday felt like friday...but it's okay. This week's weather has been absolutely amazing =) 17 degree afternoons yayyyy haha loving the cool breeze with the sun on my back on my way home =) hehe so currently obsessing over the movie...high school musical haha aww mann soo cuuutee :P the cutest cheesy movie ever ahaha =P haha yes i am such a sap. Anywhoosss

I felt happy to find my test easy to me today. SO couldn't have done it without God. Honestly...I don't understand how i ever got to cram that info all in my brain. There's a lot of stuff to Judaism. but yea =) It's actually pretty interesting...considering I don't really know anything about other religions. but yea =) thanks Jon for helping me study last night haha you now know everything i know about judaism haha =P Praise the Lord for giving me such an awesome friend =)

Today was my first ever promotions meeting for our spring production...Draculaa =) oOooOO im sooo excited haha I got so hyped over it. ahha Man thinking about like decoration ideas and what not =) I get to paint a big poster =) like BEDSHEET size..tha'ts preetty huge hahaha im oh soo excited! and im helping out selling tickets...which means i get to wear costumes haha and paint more posters haha eeeeeeee^^ oh so excited. Anddd I'm helping out with the program =)

I think i'm going to tutor gr 10 science this semester. I feel like I'm joining so much stuff, but I want to =P i don't know...been praying about it....and i have the biggest urge to tutor =/ kinda weird. well God will pull me through my busy schedule =) just like He has pulled me through everything else.

Thanks to my girls for being there for me when i was feeling a lil bleh this week. I love you girlss =) you know who you are.

excited for tomorrow and this weekend because
a) planning worship night with mel tomorrow =D haha our stacked team
b) imma get my haircut =) more layered and shorter
c) not so much homework and with the lovely weather well...=) time to go out for a jog

haha the simple things of this weekend that makes me look forward to it...and maybe insurance class...yes it's boring..but i have natalieeee =) that's al that matters LMAO! and our cool drawings hahaha eric you would know about those =P

i want to watch She's the man! =) natalie..you have a date with me for that during easter

a story

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that everytime he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few week, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammer gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there.

cafe night =)

Praise the Lord!

God is truly amazing :) Last night was just absolutely amazing! Man we rocked! Honestly...I don't know how we pulled through it. One really bad practice + one practice w/o sound = an amazing worship? yea God is TRULY in that equation! He never ceases to amaze me and pull through :) You just gotta learn to trust.

Cafe night was awesome! :) awesome job drama, food, speaker, av :) drama was amazing :) it felt good jus watching instead of being part of it. amazing job guys!

Thanks darren for helping me out :) honestly w/o you i'd be soo screweddd. Thanks a billion!

God truly works :) just keep your eye on the prize and everything will b a-okay =)

*and janice, i want a copy of that video!

im so drained :( been trying to do so much this week and as darren said.."working in teh worst case scenarios" *sigh i hope worship works out tonight..all God's man :) float sale ends today..kinda relieved...hahaa but yea okay in comm tech...i should go :P haha im xcited for cafe nite tonight =)
im lifting it all up to Him...

aching thoughts

je suis back :)

i was back sunday at 3:30 :) man it feels good to be home :) cept my house was freaking freezing when i got back but it's okay now =)

a new start to a new week

a thought to ponder on...God's gift of salvation...so free..let so little take it. It's like somebody giving you a free car and you wont take it. Why? Because you're scared of what might happen? is it too good to be true? What have you got to loose? i look at the lives of so many of my friends at school, with their problems, difficulties, obstacles that cant doesnt seem to stop and i can only think of one true solution...God.

It makes me sad to see people who live their lives crying their tears and not turning to God.

Lord, You love him so
You gave Your only Son
If he will just believe
He will never die
But how then will he know
What he has never heard?
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life

Save one more for Jesus...

Florida weekkkk :)

hey everybodyyy okay so im coming back tomorroww :) mann i gotta wake up at 5am tomorrow :( ughh ahha i'ts okay i'll sleep in the car tomorrow haha like i always do :P anywhoooss this week has been AWESOMEEE here's the summary :)

Friday and Saturday
ride to Florida..mann i felt carsick soo many timesss 22hours man! insanity! haha but yea...spent my time..sleeping and listening to music :) hehe then my knees were hurting and what not..but it was cool looking out the window..seeing sunrises and sunsets :) totally in awe of God's creation. And on the way to florida...or just in the states..on the highways...iuno there's like..sets of crosses...like..three crosses and what not..and so iuno it was just so cool. One large one in the middle and two white ones on the side. Totally reminded and amazed by God's unconditional and undying love for us =)

Monday
I went to Tampa Bay...a city in Florida..to visit my mom's friend and they havent seen each other for 27 years..WOWWW that's like..almost 30 and they're still friends...unbelievable..anywhooss went to the beach :) oooOOooO i loveeee lying there and not thinkin about anything and it was not too hot...like a tiny lil breeze and it was SOO nice :) and i found this AWESOME shell haha like..three haha who said u cant find shells there? :P hahha and yea..had dinner with my mom's friend...she's so nice :) it was cool haha i found out that florida is like..chinese-food deprived...man they dun have like...bbq pork and what not..it's INSANITY! like..there's two chinese restaurants in all of Tampa...that's like..having two restaurants in Markham...wth haha i could never imagine haha so yea got home and i learned how to play pool!!!!!! hahahaha

Tuesday
Went shopping at florida mall :) Got a new pair of jean capris :) hehe yayyyyy i love new clothes LMAO! i couldnt find anything i liked from billabong and aeropostale :( i wanted something doughhhh haha ah well and yea....went to walmart...i got a pooh bear towel hehe it's so cuutee but it's retarded..when my mommy washed it..there were like....stuff coming off of it to the other clothes..im like..wth..so we hafta return it :( i want another pooh towel

Wednesday
Went to Magic Kingdom :) I love the magic kingdom it's so...magical haha but yea i saw mickeyyyy and i didnt see pooh bearrrr :( i got sad....*haii but it's okayy sorryyy jesss no pooh bear for uuu ....bought stuffs for people and...i went on all these kkiddy rides :P i like kiddy rides haha i got myself a new cup :) a POOHBEAR cup haha i suddenly have a HUGE obsession over pooh hahah he's just so CUTE! haha and yea :) saw fireworks and the parade :) eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee^^

Thursday
went to Kennedy Space Center :) I want to go to space lolz saw all these old rockets and what not...>CRAZYYYY haha

Friday
Went to Orlando Premium Outlet :) mannn i went into stores where i would never buy things from...like...fendi and coach and versace and dior and mannnnn :) i was like..*gasp* and going insane over burberry bags and what not...BUT i did happen to bring things back :P

• two timberland drawstring bags
• one ecko sweater
• souvenirs and what not for people lolz
• pair of bongo jean capris from sirens

honestly the most money i've spent on a trip :P but it's all good ahhaha yayyy coming home tomorrowww :) soo excited i missed everybody soooooo muchhhh

weekend

one of the most amazing weekend i've had in a VERY long time =)

Saturday

• Worship Practice was soo awesome! =) it sounded so great and i love working with that team =)
• insurance class was SOO joax! LMAO! haha stories of eric and poop hahaha and fart and bev HAHA nat i love you girl! haha honestly i wouldn't survive through insurance class if it wasnt for you haha "now we're doing checking the car" "well that didn't take too long" LMAO! haha
  
• Curious George - cutest movie EVERRRRR =) I LOVE IT! haha yes eric i was loud, so what? haha sue me lolz :P u know u loved it haha thanks jon for the glossettes >< haha eating that expensive chocolate $3.75 man! haha
  
• a.group - amazing worship :) true, skill-less worship :) i love it. The Spirit works, the spirit calls =) awesome talking to gil, candy, kitty, ivan =) thanks candy for your thoughts..it's been a while since i talked to you. i honestly miss it.
  

Sunday

• waking up at 7 in the morning to worship and what not is so worth it haha but so tiring lolz worship was amazing! =) awesome job team! good job leading worship darren! totally hype man
• message was short and sweet =) like krispy kreme donuts hehe
• NOOMA =) i love rob bell videos. "God puts us through those trials because it's the time where he can hold us close" i love looking at it that way =)
• finishing homework...biology amazes me...everything's so complex...God is truly amazing =) So creative...haha so indescribable
  
• watching Oscars =) hehe

that's basically my weekend :) it was hectic...but awesome! =) eeeeeeeee^^ florida in 3 days =)

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
Mother Teresa

loving this quote

isn't it amazing..that God...who is so BIG..believes in us.

wow